You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. How comfortable he is to snuggle with. How crazy his body heat is. How understanding he is of your need for regular meals … and snacks. More From Thought Catalog. Before long, he was a funny, smart, charismatic person with a staggering list of achievements. I bet you can see where this is going. Terry is drowning in female attention.
And, as a result, his confidence is bulletproof.
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People want to be around that. Something that draws people to you. You need to be an actually interesting person. Any hot girl can sleep with a hot guy at any time. Ideally, you should become more interesting — find a dream, and chase it. Fake it till you make it — all confidence is fake confidence, at first. Because that kind of neediness is endlessly unattractive.
Way more unattractive than an extra fifty pounds. Think you could use some dating help, too? I'm a smallish person stature-wise; it's difficult for me to wind around a man with what little leg I've been given, never mind a man the size of one and a half men. Worse yet is I fear being a selfish lover, because I don't fantasize pleasing him the way I would ordinarily with a slimmer man.
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I'm intimidated, daunted and generally unprepared for certain activities. I don't know what to do. And worst of all, part of the reason it's a turnoff is that I see myself with a head-turner when the lights are on. I've always been with striking men -- not pretty boys, but men who had that quality; after all, it's that quality which turns my head in the first place. And this man just doesn't light my fire in that way. I'm attracted to nearly everything about him but his size.
So he doesn't light my fire, and doesn't feed my ego in the company of strangers. I hate myself even for admitting it; it's just so superficial. Am I trying to convince myself that we have a future together?
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Is there any way I can get past my bias and enjoy this person for who he is in total? You haven't gotten this far by pretending. You've gotten this far by being straightforward and honest, and I suggest you continue being straightforward and honest. This is harder, of course, because we are freaked out about fat.
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It is one of our crazy things. It has its paradoxes and corollaries as well -- we are freaked out about skinny, and we are freaked out about food, and the planet, and the body and money and exercise and power. We are a freaked-out culture. We are all freaked out.
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If you are a fat man in America you cannot help noticing that people are freaked out about fat. People will suggest exercise bikes.
They will feed you lean portions. They will say to each other, "It's his fault, and it's disgusting; he must have no willpower; he must eat the wrong things; he must be repressing something; he must not respect himself.