I even agree with more of the points made here than you might anticipate, but You can be feminine and still a feminist. Wanting equal opportunities for those women who want to make different choices with their lives is, in my opinion, an admirable goal, even if you want to make different choices and take advantage of other opportunities. It hurts that I want your life choices and beliefs to be respected, but you might dismiss mine as "ludicrous" because you're dismissing a group of people which includes many people similar to those here.
And all that is just genetics--there's increasing medical evidence that hormonal concentrations in the mother's womb will affect physiological, developmental, and mental characteristics of babies who will someday become adult people who can express their thoughts and feelings. When part of your brain or body has developed in a way that is typical for the opposite gender, it's bound to be confusing when you're told there are only two boxes and you don't fit into either one.
It's about being more-inclusive of genuinely good people whom we might otherwise estrange. When something feels natural and "right" to a person in a persistent way and it's not accepted, it can hurt in a pretty deep and lasting way. You've probably experienced this somehow in your own life; I know that I have.
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It's, in my opinion, good and admirable to then turn around and try to make sure that the same lasting hurt isn't inflicted on other people. If you get smacked around as a kid, it's admirable to try and stop children from being bullied as an adult. Then maybe you realize that your friend was also hurt, but in an emotional way, and developed an eating disorder that hurt her body as much or more than being hit ever hurt you.
So you try to extend your empathy to those people, too, and help kids growing up in those situations not to feel estranged and develop the same emotional pain. That's what you're seeing when people like myself try to defend the idea of "in-between" genders. I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but most of the people whom I have met that embrace the idea of non-binary gender and fluid sexuality are not trying to detract from the obvious preferences of typical men and women.
At least for me, the aim is to help make sure that more wonderful people like some of my friends can become happy and functional and contributing members of society because they don't awful all of the time for being humans with atypical pieces. I apologize if you feel that this is an intrusion of your space, or if you feel like you've already heard these points until you're sick to death of them.
But, it also seems like many subscribers are here because they have witnessed firsthand evidence of a particular set of ideas that is supposed to work out and make people happy not actually working out or making people happy. I just wanted to share my own experience and evidence of why I a feminist would assert that treating genders as purely binary isn't productive--not because I want to change the core values of people here. The core values I see here are devotion and care for the people you love, and embracing the person you know you are meant to be, regardless of society's current opinion on the matter.
So, I want to put this in front of you because, to me, it seems consistent with those values to consider new evidence that helps you understand and care for people you love even when they're atypical and to help them also embrace the people they are meant to be, regardless of society's current opinion on the matter. It's not that we don't accept non-binary gender or fluid sexuality I identify as bisexual , but the outliers just aren't our target demographic.
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We are mostly heterosexual, cis-gendered women seeking to educate the same. And in most cases, we aren't very far off target. And very often we are marginalized because of our unusual way of life. It's gotten to the point on Reddit that if being nice to a man and accepting that most men aren't rapists or mysognists, you're almost automatically assumed to be a part of trp. Seeing feminine women and noticing that some men find them a lot more desirable seem to upset some unfeminine women a lot.
It seems like some of them hate feminine ladies and consider them their rivals or something. Instead of trying to improve themselves they get mad, bad-mouth feminine women and demand that men must like them unfeminine women too. They tend to be the kind of people that want everything handed to them. At least that's what I've noticed.
I've never seen men act in a similar way. I've always been very feminine and dressed femininely. Many women and some men immediately assume I'm weak. I find it sad that we see feminine qualities as weak and masculine qualities as strong. I just keep on being myself- feminine and competent. Anyone who knows me for much time at all can see that I am not weak.
People just aren't allowed to have tastes anymore without being "insensitive" towards some group that their preference doesn't apply to. I was raised in the South.
Women are feminine if they want to date men. Men are masculine if they want to date women. It's just that simple. Both groups know what they need to emulate to be competitive when dating and the successful ones do it and the unsuccessful ones don't. Then I moved North for college. I hate to say it but there is just a brassy unfeminist quality about many Northern women that I wish I understood better so it would gross me out less.
I'm Not Really Attracted To My Girlfriend - What Do I Do?
You say you want a man to love you for who you are, but you don't even do the things that people who love themselves do eat right, dress nice, pamper yourself, work out. You want a man to recognize you as a woman, yet you dress like a man and talk like a man and constantly present yourself as "one of the guys". Also, I will never understand a woman hacking off all her hair if she's trying to get a man. Short hair is fashionable fashion is for women , long hair is attractive presumably, to men.
I'll admit I was one of the girls who hacked her hair off because of maintenance. I'm growing it back out at my boyfriend's request. He didn't like that it made me look masculine or like a dyke, in his words. He doesn't like my plaid tops, either, but now I have too many given to me by family to just quit wearing them. I'm fixing that by only wearing them with my girls.
With the hair thing, it's generally a case of not wanting to bother with it long, they're making a statement, or it's trying to be attention grabbing. Why they wouldn't put it in a pony tail, vocalise said statement or learn to do something interesting to grab attention is beyond me. It's interesting too- if you ask a hairdresser, most will nod sagely when you say you once cut your hair short and didn't like it. Apparently it's quite a normal thing. I had a shoulder-length bob not a weird asymmetrical one, just a normal bob when I was sixteen because I had overprocessed my hair and that was all the healthy hair I had left!
Plus, I'm young and I like to play that up. Long, shiny, healthy-looking hair is a sign of youth and vitality. Who ever wants to look older?
Dating Unattractive Girls
No idea; it was always a mystery to me. Long hair means you can do more with it too. And it's fun to play with when trying out new styles and such. It grew back healthy! It's not short, but it's curly, so I don't get the drama girls with long straight do unless I flat-iron. LMAO do you remember when Beyonce hacked all of her hair off for five minutes and the next day she had an asymmetrical bob?
The attitude of "people should love me for me" is lazy AND selfish. It's like saying "I want to be in a relationship, but I shouldn't have to work for another person's affection. So 10 years ago, a bunch of us young adults at church decided to go downtown to you feed the homeless. We are broken up into groups of 4. It was me, one other guy, and two girls. Homeless guy comes up and threatens one of the girls. I step between them, looking straight in the eyes and tell him that's not going to happen. I tell him to walk away.