All too often people assume whatever is normal, is good and is what should be done even if its to their detriment. Personally I don't see why you should feel guilt for any of those times you had sex, in my opinion you didn't do anything wrong. The only "normal" that should enter your life is "is this normal for me?
Never let anyone tell you you are wrong for not being part of society's construct of what normal is. Whatever you decide, know you are perfect just the way you are. I feel guilty leading them on for a couple hours till I get sex or not and then leave to never be heard of again. I'm only interested in the sex part and if I can find women in my area who want the same thing I would be happy. It just seems unlikely and I am only interested the first time. I just don't think there are women in my age group who live around me that want nothing more than sex.
My normal does not match them and will leave me at home watching TV and masterbating to porn every night till I die. I agree normal is subjective but it does not help. If that means I don't like emotional bonds then yeah sounds like me. It has not been to bad of a life could be worse and understanding who I have been should help. How it helps I don't really know but it explains past actions and maybe I can force my way out of those reactions with the knowledge or wait till my 40s when my life should change for the better.
I really have a funny state of mind where I can crave sex but dislike faking an emotional connection. I hate admitting that I have an emotional disconnect from other people. I better stick to porn or I might get a VD having sex with strangers. There's definitely girls like you out there! It is hard to find them but I'm sure you don't have to wait till you're in your 50s. You don't have to feel bad about who you are, and you don't need explanations for what you've done. So would a non asexual be welcome in the forums? Especially as I'd be hard pressed to think of another half-ways active place where to seriously discuss aromanticism, off the top of my head I bet the women with my personality are prostitutes no emotions only physical.
I wouldn't want a partner to deal with me seems like they would not be fulfilled with what limited emotional connection I can provide. Plus the fear of a clinging relationship and how I might react is a big reason I have never tryed. I basically assume that I'm a selfish person who does not deserve a girlfriend. On the plus side I can use the money I could have wasted on dates and buy myself some cool gadgets and hobbies.
You understand yourself, that's not something to be ashamed of. I have several friends who are around the same age as you and they pretty much feel the same way about relationships as you do. They do the occasional hook-up but they very rarely see a woman more than once. I have no idea if they ever want a full relationship or not. I just wanted to give you an example because you aren't alone in how you feel. I feel like I have to make a small counterpoint in the interest of openness and honesty.
If you someday feel like moving to a different kind of relationship and that your emotional disconnect is getting in your way, then you may at that point want to consider seeing a psychiatrist. If that never happens and your lifestyle satisfies you then that is a valid choice for yourself too. I am emotionally fine but sexualy unsatisfied. I assumed it was a normal male trait, my cuz is emotionaly needy always bugs me when I'm watching TV to try and talk with me. He spends hours of each day talking to a girlfriend and feels torn when there is no people to talk to.
My narrow mind assumed I don't feel that way he must think like a girl more than a man I can go weeks without human contact or conversation why can't he.
He told me to try POF so I made an account and tryed to reach out to the females but only a hello get no response. The few girls I got response from don't say much and then I have nothing to say so it ends. After a month I canceled the account last week and wondered why I didn't care.
If you have a relationship you can get sex so if that's what I want I need a relationship but my interest is microscopic. It opened my eyes to saying maybe he is more normal than I am if there are millions on websites looking for the same thing as him and all I see is a bunch of people I would like to have sex with but don't want to talk to.
I am unsatisfied though but have very little motivation to resolve. I don't think I should date anyone in my mind but my pecker says otherwise. I feel like those scumbag guys only interested in sex and break girls hearts and it is at least half true. I don't think I break hearts if I do they were to weak to be around me.
I made an account on adultfriendfinder to see if a hookup site was more for me than a dating one but i dont know if acounts are real and the active user base is late 30s to Most of the users cybersex in chatrooms and i cant get into it i feel emotionaly separated from the words on a screen I required physical action not implied action. I have been very confused why i feel the need to go get someone when a few hours after i wont desire it anymore and become anoyed. Maybe prostitution will return and hopfuly i could afford to go every now and then so i dont feel this way and i dont have to take advantage of an unknowing girl when the only thing i need is sex the rest is just anoying and makes me feel horable.
More From Thought Catalog
I wish I knew of anything that could help you but this is way outside of my experiences. If the way you feel is making you unhappy then I would suggest counseling instead of therapy if that's an option for you. But sometimes it is. So… yes, I do think you should try dating. But only if you feel like it. That connection may not happen on a first date or a second date or a third. It may never happen at all. But with age and experiences — and, yes, relationships — we get to know more. And we grow more comfortable in our own skins and with our own decisions and with the quirks that make us unique.
You can follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here. It seems like you are making going on a date to mean much more than it really does.
It is not a commitment, not for a half an hour or a lifetime. You can get up and walk away at any point. I think you should try it. I feel that this LW is also placing an undue burden on herself in that she is placing too much emphasis on what comes after. A date does not need to lead to a relationship or a long-term commitment.
30 Signs That Someone Isn’t Actually Interested In Dating You
A date is figuring things out. So, LW, figure it out! But I think you would benefit from seeing what is out there. You never know, someone might peak your interest. And if anything, you meet hopefully cool new people. I wonder if part of that is her upbringing? She might even come from a background that practices arranged marriage. Therapy might help if you want to explore some of these feelings more in depth, but I say do what feels comfortable, explore yourself, and see what happens.
“I’m 25 and I’m Not Interested in Dating Men OR Women”
Casey April 3, , I read an article once that said we should think of a date as drinks with a stranger. So I try never to get my expectations too high and keep that phrase in mind. None of my current friends date anyone. They are 33, 33, 32, 29, 28…..