If you are in a relationship where a guy does not want to give you his time, a date, or even make you his priority; then he is a loser. The last thing that you want is to be the one giving all your time, effort, and energy in the relationship and you are getting nothing back.
The last thing you want is to feel like you are last on his list of things to do. If you are lost on what you deserve check out my blog on a woman worth more than rubies.
What To Do When Your Friend Is Dating A Loser | Thought Catalog
Of course if you have been dating for a week he may not want to meet important people in your life. But once you have been dating for a while and you determine you want to get serious with this person, if he does not want to meet anyone in your life that is important to you, then you are not important to him. Another tidbit, is that if he does meet your family and friends and he is just plain rude to them or leaves a bad impression, then yes he is a loser. A man who cares about you is going to try to make a good impression to the people you care about. If they are a jerk to these people that is a sign of his character and that he just does not care about you.
But a man who makes a lot of false promises or says he is going to do something but does not follow through is not a man. As a man he should be grown enough to follow through on the things that he says he is going to do, especially as it pertains to your relationship. And if he is not able to do that, then that shows that not only is he a loser but it also shows that he does not really care about keeping his promises to you and he will just tell you anything with no intention of actually doing it.
In my world that is the same as a lie. I wrote about this in my how to know you are in a bad relationship blog which you can read here. Anyone who loves and cares about you should not want to make you feel bad about yourself. If that is their intention then they have an issue not you. If a man is doing this to you then he is trying to make you feel bad about yourself so that he can control you.
D, of the Buehler Institute for sex therapy in Irvine, Calif. Should You Stay or Go? These steps can get you thinking — honestly — about the state of your union. Ask yourself these questions, Sugrue says: Do I really care about this person or has the relationship become habit? Is it easier to stay than make the effort to leave?
Are You Dating a “Loser”?
Do I feel like he really cares for me? Or am I doing all the heavy lifting? Works with Christmas gifts and relationships. And talk it over with your guy.
Dating a Loser? 6 Reasons You Can’t Leave Him
Not all these dudes will pony up to ride into the sunset with you. Absence can make the heart grow fonder Either way, you get some perspective, Buehler says. Hold off on hooking up. Casual, no-strings-attached sex definitely has its place. Do a reality check. If you worry that ditching an unsatisfying relationship will leave you alone forever or possibly even destitute, take a deep breath and step back from the ledge. What about those friends and family who love you?
Then you can start thinking about what your new movie will look like, Mackler says. Perhaps the screen will show that you can be happy without a relationship.
- 7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser.
- online dating in a nutshell.
- What To Do When Your Friend Is Dating A Loser.
Or that the next guy you date will appreciate and respect you. Many people stay in relationships because they are convenient or comfortable. You will see and witness this temper — throwing things, yelling, cursing, driving fast, hitting the walls, and kicking things. At first, you will be assured that they will never direct the hostility and violence at you — but they are clearly letting you know that they have that ability and capability — and that it might come your way.
Later, you fear challenging or confronting them — fearing that same temper and violence will be turned in your direction. This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly — as though you deserved it. Cutting Off Your Support In order to control someone completely, you must cut off their supportive friends — sometimes even their family. You will withdraw from friends and family, prompting them to become upset with you.
2. He Blows Hot and Cold
Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one. They give you the impression that you had it anger, yelling, assault coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression. They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment.
Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of — telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you.
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Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again making you a prisoner and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are.
Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence.
If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity. The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth. They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public.
Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them — somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you.
Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them — eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members. Bad Stories People often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.
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The stories a person tells informs us of how they see themselves, what they think is interesting, and what they think will impress you. A humorous individual will tell funny stories on himself. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person.