Oh WOW I totally misread that too.
I redact the first paragraph of my initial response. I can't speak for the exclusivity thing, but it's worth talking about. But I can comment on the dating profile thing: The timing of taking down a profile sends all kinds of messages. As does Facebook friending and relationshipping. He probably doesn't want to scare you away by jumping the gun too early. There's no standard answer to this, like "2 months" or "9 days.
Some couples take months to get to that point, some take days. The question I think you really want answered is "is he seriously interested in me, and does he want to be exclusive with me? Only he can let you know whether he's seriously interested and wants exclusivity. If you are in the market for an exclusive relationship, you might want to have this conversation first with people, before you get to this point where you've shared a lot of intimacy but you have that odd thing where you've been physically intimate but are totally afraid to ask them how they feel about the relationship and its future.
That can really be backwards. It sounds as though he likes you, but it's not clear that he's serious - we can't answer that, only he can.
Seven Reasons To Delete Online Dating Profiles
In future, have this conversation before you're afraid to. Have you two talked at all about what your respective long-term goals are, relationship-wise? Do you know for a fact that he is monogamy-minded, and ultimately looking for exclusivity? If you've not had that basic conversation, now would be a good time to do so. It seems kind of weird at this point to expect him to take his profile down. You've been seeing him three weeks. I also started getting antsy about this very question after three weeks of amazing dates with my now-SO.
Things were just so Or so it seemed to me -- but was it mutual?
I waited another couple of weeks to speak to him about it -- I wanted to sift through my own anxiety and let it settle. Ultimately, the conversation came up pretty organically -- I was not comfortable with sex outside an exclusive relationship, so when it came time to discuss such matters, I also discussed the fact that I'd pulled down my profile. He said he hadn't seen anyone else since our first date so, my anxiety was for naught!
So, if you need a plausible reason to recite to yourself for why this gentleman is still active on OKC, there's one for you to mull. Now, I didn't then ask him to shut down his profile, but I did say it bothered me a bit. A day or two later because he didn't like bothering me, I presume -- he's that kind of gentleman , he closed his account.
If this thing between you is mutual, you're not going to scare him off by admitting that you're developing feelings and want to give exclusivity a shot. And since you're sleeping with him, it's also not just an emotional issue, it could certainly be considered a health issue. But you know what? If that's the case, it's really important information for you to know. That aside, if he's enthusiastic and at all serious about where things might go, he'll have no problem with the conversation.
Is It Good Online Dating Etiquette To Remove My Profile After I Meet Someone?
I don't think you should ask him to do anything, but I don't think you should expect this to become a relationship until he stops. You should keep looking and dating until you guys mutually agree on an exclusive relationship. Don't expect anything until then. I think that once you've discussed being exclusive, then you should take it down.
I did the mistake of leaving it up and so did my boyfriend at the time. We were mutually logged in once and we discovered each other and it caused all sorts of hurtful feelings. He deleted his, but I simply forgot and once he asked me about it and I said, yes it is still up. It was uncomfortable, but we deleted it together. If I could do it over again, I'd like to do it together as our own little event to remember.
The profile is a tool to date people.
When Exactly Should I Take Down My Profile?
You are not exclusive, so he's using it. You don't want him to use it? It's really that simple. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want because of some perceived rule or timeline. I've been dating a guy for three weeks now and am very happy. It has not occurred to me to take down my profile, not because I'm looking for something else, but because it feels like I'd be getting ahead of myself. I'm enjoying taking the emotional part of this slowly.
The early part of dating is often some weird Rosetta Stone experience where you try to translate someone else's actions into what you think they actually mean - the more you can avoid this and just talk directly about your own actions and experiences, the easier it is. You're not exclusive until you're exclusive.
That said, even if married until death do us part I doubt I'd actually delete my OKcupid profile, I'd just stop using it for dating purposes, mark it as not available to reduce unwanted emails related to dating, and leave it there for occasional access to the other toys and tools on that site. The pat answer is "when the two of you feel that you should take them down. Worth noting that at times I've kept a dating profile on dating sites here and there sans pictures and intention to go on dates just because it's interesting to explore how people represent themselves, so profile does not necessary equal actively looking and no profile doesn't necessarily equal not actively looking.
I would second the idea of taking the relationship itself as it is, and not assuming exclusivity until you've had a talk about it but it seems like you can relax a little since he says he isn't seeing anyone else. I would just take him at his word that he's not seeing other people and see where it goes. I think a lot of people also forget about the profile or have other reasons for keeping it up that have been mentioned.
Is It Good Online Dating Etiquette To Remove My Profile After I Meet Someone?
I would not expect someone to take down a profile unless we had a specific discussion about exclusivity. It seems like you guys have almost-but-not-quite had that conversation If you want exclusivity, you should have a conversation specifically about expectations for the future - but please don't bring up that you've been checking out his online profiles, it comes off as pretty creepy even though everyone does it.
No, I don't think 3 weeks is too soon for exclusivity, but it depends on the relationship. I've dated people casually for 6 months where there was never an expectation of exclusivity from either side, and I've also had an "I love you and don't want to date anyone else" conversation after, like, a week which led to a 3 year monogamous relationship. Depends on the particular relationship and where both people are at. But, you won't get what you want unless you talk about it.
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I asked if he was seeing other people and said that he didn't have to answer if he doesn't want to I'm with phunniemee. Don't do this anymore. Removing, hiding or deleting your online dating site profile can be a big step if you have invested a lot of time and effort in making it as attractive as possible. So you should not remove it too quickly. However, sometimes it can be an essential step to take it down in order to focus your mind away from temptation.
Many dating sites have different options for removing you from searches and from being contactable. A hidden profile usually means it is removed from listings but the information on it remains intact should you wish to reinstate it. Often a hidden profile does not stop people you have already conversed with from re-contacting you.
When you delete your profile data it means just that. You cannot reinstate it and information is lost forever. Of course, you could copy and paste your profile text into a document on your computer just in case. But you need to realise that deletion also means that your messages will be lost and people who have favourited you will lose the ability to see that profile. But when should you do that? A lot of it will depend on the vibe you are getting from the other person while messaging and after meeting and of course from following your own heart.
What I would say here is not to delete or hide your profile too early. Doing so can actually have a detrimental effect if the other person is taking things casually. If they are still using the site and see you have taken your profile down, it could send out a message that you are taking them far more seriously than they are taking you, making them run for the hills, or decide that they have you on a piece of string to pull any time they fancy.