He was attentive, offered up beautiful poetry and had found a way to identify with her deepest pain. Yet when I shared why it sounded like she was becoming attached to someone who was less than honest, she was shocked and couldn't believe this nice man she spoke with on a daily basis was about to take advantage of her. So I told her, if you can't break contact yet, at least stay open to the possibility that he is a scammer and if he asks you for money, promise me two things. First, you won't give it to him and second, to call me so you have the support I know you would need to break contact with him.
Sure enough, within three days, he told her he was in trouble. He was about to close a deal but had a problem.
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The bank needed two more weeks to get all the financing together but he was going to lose the deal if he didn't come up with the money by the end of the week. He asked if she could possibly help him. His family had invested too, he said. This was his way of making her feel safe enough to go through with it, even though it wasn't true. Fortunately, she kept both promises she had made.
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We talked and I helped walk her through this. Let me tell you, it was not easy, but it would have been harder if she hadn't had support from an objective source. A piece of her didn't want to believe he was scamming her. Because he had captured her heart and she really wanted to help him.
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The scammer had spent hours setting her up for this by connecting with her through beautiful poems and lengthy conversations. I hear this story over and over again. You may think, oh no, this would never happen to me. Let me assure you these women would have said the same thing.
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They are intelligent, successful women desperate to find the love of their life. And this is what these men prey on. My client was lucky. Other women have not been so lucky and have lost thousands of their hard earned dollars to men they thought loved them. I wrote today's post because I don't want to see another woman get taken by these con men again. There are nine warning signs worth heeding when you're out there dating.
Don't mention your income or where you work. You can say you're a nurse or an executive but don't mention where or how much you make. Be aware of sounding needy and lonely in your profile. It makes you perfect prey for scammers looking to hook you into their scams. These men will often say they live in metropolitan cities in the US but their work takes them elsewhere in the world.
He tells you he'll be coming back soon Most of these men are from developing countries. Jobs that pay well are scarce. Men there who are willing to con you have learned that in a couple of hours a day, they can easily communicate with women in the US, find their weak spots and make a fortune. They speak with British accents, something American women easily fall for.
It's sounds romantic to us.
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These men know this and use it. Often, they will tell you they were born in England to a British mother and Italian father. They give themselves romantic names like Valentino and Antonio. They will send you pictures of themselves and they're usually drop dead gorgeous.
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Look closely at these pictures. They are often shots of handsome models posing in hats, sunglasses, holding products like beer or wine standing in front of tall buildings in urban landscapes, or posing by expensive cars. Sometimes the men in the picture don't even consistently look the same from shot to shot. The pictures they send are model shots easily found on the internet. They might send you family pictures of children or grandchildren. Rarely are they in the picture with them.
This is a huge tip off.
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