Dating up or down

What need are you meeting for them other than something hot to fuck? All of the qualities I see you listing and repeating are things women care about, not men. You have made this same sort of post quite a few times now. And honestly all I see is you blaming men for all your dating issues. At some point you are going to have stop and look in the mirror. If the same thing keeps happening over and over with a wide variety of men and the only common denominator is you, then chances are you are the problem. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Meaning we seek out or behave in a way that will meet a predetermined out come subconsciously.

I really suggest you take sometime off dating, like a year or 2, go to therapy, learn to live your life for yourself, learn to be alone, and what it means to be comfortable with who you really are.

Do women prefer to date down or date up?

The same sort of people will come into our lives over and over again until we learn what we are supposed to learn from them. Once we do they will vanish and a new sort of person will come into our lives. Our reality is created by our actions and perceptions. Everything that happens to you in life is brought about by your choices. It sounds like you think those people should be grateful for whatever they can get and thus give over the reigns of their romantic lives. It does not work like that. Just because you deem yourself as "settling" for someone "below" you does not mean you are what they want.

With a thought process and arrogance like you have why would they want you? I just had a quick read of your post history and you come off as extremely self centered, condescending and overwhelmingly insecure. I suggest getting some therapy. Also, you are almost 30, stop using lol as a punctuation. This is a throwaway account specifically for this issue so of course it seems obsessive about this issue!

How is it a transaction? I make 6 figures, come from money, am super fit, and I have never ever cared about how much a man makes nor have I ever dated anyone athletic. Maybe you're just unlucky then? I don't believe it matters that you are not looking for money or looks. Your thread assumes that men with money and looks are players I make decent money, exercise daily and I'm a 25kv. I have friends that are the same except they try really hard at the dating game, just to get constantly ghosted.

Click here to see why this is necessary. Have you ever considered that you aren't half as desirable as you think you are? That men, even men you think are so far beneath you, won't commit because you are not worth committing to for a variety of reasons? Your education and income do not matter to men, what matters to them are your looks and your personality. I am willing to bet you're not as attractive as you think judging by your inflated sense of self worth, and your personality is very clearly not appealing. Even if you're fit and beautiful, if you're miserable to be around and have an inflated sense of self worth, no self respecting man is going to want to hitch their horse to your cart.

Not to mention that you very clearly think you're completely out of these "lower value" men's league. Do you think men don't pick up on you thinking that you're superior to them, even if you think you're hiding that feeling? A self respecting man won't commit to a woman who makes it so painfully obvious that she thinks she is doing him a favor by dating him, even if he will fuck her since she's hot enough.

Why men date up and women date down

This sounds like a case where you need to do some serious introspection, and try to fix your personality and outlook rather than blaming men for your shortcomings. Nothing you said is true. In group settings with other women, I get the most attention initially. Weren't you in a relationship last time you bashed my boyfriend and I said the same exact things the unseen one said?

You make this sub so toxic that I don't even comment because I know you'll be there telling the OPs how bad men are. I am constantly "seeing someone" as I don't like to multi-date. I've never been there for an extended period of time but something tells me it's the same if not worse. Why not try chicago?

Girl Talk: On Dating Down - The Frisky

I'm a 32 yr. I'm thinking of leaving for new york for percisely that reason Check the cost of living I'd get a big raise living in NYC, but it wouldn't even out with higher rent and taxes. I'm visiting NYC right now and it's a mix or which is better If getting married is your end goal, the dudes here are definitely more old school.


I purchased property here for a good deal so my cost of living is extremely low, lower than it would be in Chicago or any major city. And my pay is inflated due to cost of living and the laws that healthcare has in California to make it this way. As an attractive man, I have to agree with this. So I say, if you like a guy, go for the one you like.

Who cares if they maybe reject you.

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Worst-case scenario it doesn't work out with an attractive guy over it not working out with a guy you're not attracted to and feeling a little resentful and cheated because you felt owed something for dating down. Just approach the people you're attracted to. Be honest to yourself. If they don't notice you, say hi to them.

Don't talk yourself out of them ''probably'' not liking you. Smile, say hi, ask him about himself. You'll likely get further than most people even the attractive ones simply by doing this. From personal experience, I find that the more attractive the woman the less inclined they are to be forward. Hot women will often give themselves away when they like guy. They'll blush, get flustered, use a breathy voice, always smile at you. If a hot woman likes you you'll usually have some idea that they might like you, but you won't know for sure whether they do.

Whereas less attractive women fall into two camps.


The ones who are so shy and insecure that they would never approach you in a million years. And the ones with the ''Fuck it'' attitude who will just go up and say hi because they know they have more chance with men if they approach them rather than waiting to be approached This is the key mentality to have if you want a higher chance at your ideal outcome. In saying that, hot women might get approached a lot more by men than less attractive women but it doesn't mean the quality of men approaching them is necessarily any better.

Statistically, they have a higher chance of eventually having a decent guy approach them as opposed to a less attractive lady.

Welcome to Reddit,

But most decent guys generally don't hit on a woman unless they're pretty close with the woman. Not criticising the cold approach, just saying usually the decent guys don't do this. So good luck being a hot woman and getting approached by one of these men over the not-so-nice guys. Just because hot women get more attention than less conventionally attractive women doesn't mean the overall quality of attention they receive is ''good''.

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