He assumed I was adventurous, and we spent 20 minutes with me trying to crash the party and him trying to get me to stop trying to crash the party. It was a great icebreaker—because dating with a language barrier renders you almost personality-less. This awkward moment was sort of like Esperanto; even without a common language, we could still have a few hours of fun in a smoky bar in Kreuzberg.
Also, listing all the reasons you find someone attractive is a good way to bridge the gap between cultures—Simon had difficulty with a lot of words, but his English was just good enough that he could find several ways to compliment my looks. And, unfortunately, offend me. He then held out his face waiting for me to kiss him, lips pursed, eyes open, nodding to indicate that I should put my face on his.
I would not consider Simon a success. I liked him for abstract reasons, like the way he got really, genuinely excited when he told me about swimming with sharks while working as a diving instructor in Indonesia before starting graduate school, his long messy hair, and his big broad smile that matched his big broad shoulders.
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We shared hours of great conversation and a lot of cheap beer, and when he walked me back to the Metro, it took about eight of my steps to match one of his long, serious strides. The next afternoon, he sent me a text apologizing for having to leave so early that morning—he was traveling—and reminded me to sample the local specialty, currywurst, which he meant literally and not in the Florian sense, I think, though I would have welcomed the innuendo.
Maybe it was the residual shine of confidence from my Berlin experience, but I got my swirl on in Stockholm. It was like Stockholm was my own personal boyfriend store and it was stocked with Viking men available for me to pick off the shelves and take to various bars and restaurants.
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I wish I could explain what was going on, exactly. Part of it was me: Also, I suspect traveling forces you to be freer and lighter and more willing to take risks in general. Neither were the average and accepted American standards of beauty, even though Sweden is the origin point for the All-American Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes thing.
Whatever was in the water, it resulted in what I can say was the best date of my life. When I am old and boring, I will look back on this night and think: He failed to mention that his band was opening for a sold-out show for the famous indie darling Bob Hund, so the night which I assumed would be me pretending to like some crappy band at a dank music venue turned into drinking free beers backstage and making out with Odel in the wings. So great, in fact, that I almost missed my flight back to the States the next morning. If I had, no big deal.
I was prepared to move to Stockholm anyway. In the same way some people travel to help inspire a creative bout, or to reassess their lives, or to get in touch with their spirituality, it turns out my week abroad unexpectedly turned into a sort of sexual sabbatical—a way to remind myself that I am fuckable—not invisible, not exempt from a narrative of desire just because OkCupid data indicated that I am in the least desirable group of daters. To combat nervousness or over excitement , book a table for two at the Westberlin cafe.
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Occupying a bustling spot down the road from Check Point Charlie, the people-watching opportunities and rich coffees will buzz away that dreaded awkward silence. Get there early and grab one of the many books and magazines on offer for an easy conversation starter.
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Westberlin,Friedrichstrasse , Berlin Westberlin. Date number one is about assessing awkwardness vs. MuseumInsel — a pick-and-mix of world-class architecture, art and artefacts. Dating gets an unnecessary bad rep. To get that adrenaline pumping for a long-lasting rush, where better to woo your crush than metres above the city?
What to do, what to do? Our fun outdoor swimming pools.
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