Do opposites really attract in dating

There was virtually no change in beliefs over time suggesting that if couples go into a relationship hoping to change the opinions of the other it is unlikely to work. However the researchers warn that the quest for similarity in friends could result in a lack of exposure to other ideas, values and perspectives.

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But you can't have only that need. You also need new ideas, people to correct you when you're loony.

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The research was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Pschology. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation.


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Friday 11 January It emerged that all pairings held similar life views even if they had only just met. Alamy "People are more similar than chance on almost everything we measure, and they are especially similar on the things that matter most to them personally," added Prof Bahns. Researchers have investigated what combination makes for better romantic partners — those who are similar, different, or opposite? Scientists call these three possibilities the homogamy hypothesis, the heterogamy hypothesis and the complementarity hypothesis, respectively.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

The clear winner is homogamy. Since the s, social scientists have conducted over studies to determine whether similarity in terms of attitudes , personality traits , outside interests , values and other characteristics leads to attraction.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

They found an irrefutable association between being similar to and being interested in the other person. In other words, there is clear and convincing evidence that birds of a feather flock together. For human beings, the attractiveness of similarity is so strong that it is found across cultures.


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Because similarity is associated with attraction, it makes sense that individuals in committed relationships tend to be alike in many ways. Sometimes this is called assortative mating , although this term is more often used to describe the ways in which people with similar levels of educational attainment, financial means and physical appearance tend to pair up.

Both the homogamy hypothesis and the complementarity hypothesis could be true. So is there scientific support that opposites might attract at least some of the time?

Do opposites really attract - and can they make a relationship work?

Love stories often include people finding partners who seem to have traits that they lack, like a good girl falling for a bad boy. In this way, they appear to complement one another. For example, one spouse might be outgoing and funny while the other is shy and serious. In fact, one could imagine the friends and relatives of a shy person trying to set them up with an outgoing person to draw the shy one out.

The question is whether people actually seek out complementary partners or if that just happens in the movies. There is essentially no research evidence that differences in personality, interests, education, politics, upbringing, religion or other traits lead to greater attraction.

For example, in one study researchers found that college students preferred descriptions of mates whose written bios were similar to themselves or their ideal self over those described as complementing themselves.

Do Opposites REALLY Attract? | Her Campus

Other studies have supported this finding. For example, introverts are no more attracted to extraverts than they are to anyone else. Despite the overwhelming evidence, why does the myth of heterogamy endure? There are probably a few factors at work here. First, contrasts tend to stand out.