But if you want to have healthy relationships, you will need to show people a lot of grace. The health of your relationships will be directly linked to the health of your communication. Most of us have no trouble filling the air with our own words and worries. We struggle, however, to really listen and understand what others are going through. So if you want to really make your spouse, your kids, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your coworkers, or even just a stranger you meet on the subway feel like you really love them, make sure you ask good questions and be a good listener.
The Lord listens to us, and if want to love others well and have great relationships, we need to slow down and actually listen to what other people are saying:. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Your significant other will love being around you if you are good listener. It is better to give than receive.
When you get into a relationship to be served, you always want more and more. Eventually you burn the other person out or you become dissatisfied with him or her because they are not filling you like you want. When you try to make someone into your person minion, they might do it for awhile, but eventually they will grow to resent your selfishness. The more you love in deed, the more you will feel the emotional love as well.
Plus, most people, unless they are selfish or immature, will see how loving you are towards them and show their gratitude. If getting gratitude is your primary motivation, you will probably be disappointed a lot. But in general, the more you love someone, the more they will appreciate you.
And as well all know, it sure is nice to be appreciated. If no one is showing you gratitude, it could mean you are serving a very selfish crowd or person. But it also could mean you are not serving them very well. People know when you are just using them. If you want to be appreciated, give your significant other a reason to appreciate you. Another sinful tendency humans have is to try to turn those they are in relationship with into their own image. When a husband and wife argue, sometimes one of them is right and the other is wrong.
But most times the argument is simply an effort to turn the other person into their own image. Most church splits occur because of personal preferences and an unwillingness to see things from a different perspective. If you truly love someone, your hope for him or her should be that they look more and more like Christ Romans 8: So if the argument is about whether or not something is sinful or not sinful, by all means, continue the debate. But if you are arguing over something that is actually morally neutral and there is not a clear, biblical doctrine to settle the dispute, than you should do your best to compromise because you are probably operating out of sinful desire to turn other people into your own image.
Signs of maturity are awareness and acceptance. Denial is always the foundation for a slow and painful relationship death. We can hope for change, we can even try to help someone change, but after awhile all you are going to do is ruin the relationship even more if you try to force someone to act a certain way that you want. Plus, sometimes people refuse to change even more when we try to force them to.
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We only have control over ourselves. Therefore, if someone is not changing, you have to accept it and respond accordingly. If you are in a dating relationship with this person, perhaps this means you need to end the relationship.
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Or perhaps you just need to let it go and accept that their negative character trait is just something you will need to overcome yourself whenever it comes up. Be mature enough to know what is and is not going to change in the relationship and take responsibility for the only thing you truly have control over — yourself. It's completely free - my gift to you. Study Guide and Leader's Guide Included. Are you sticking to this recipe? For non-Christians it seems backwards to rank your partner as number two on your list of priorities. Most likely due to all those romantic comedies, society makes us believe that the person you date should worship the air you breathe.
The Christian perspective tells us to look at the bigger picture, and that means that we love Jesus above all else including our friends, family and romantic relationships. God is our be-all and end-all.
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He helps lead us through relationships to give glory to Him. Being a Christian is more than just a one-time announcement to your family on Facebook. It means constantly seeking out the Lord, growing and learning in your faith, and giving all glory to Him. The closer you grow to God the more successful of a relationship you will have, because God teaches us about being patient, forgiving, kind and loving. The Lord will show you what grace and mercy means so when you get in a fight with your significant other you can do the same.
One way you can grow as both a Christian and as a couple is by sharing your faith together.
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God wants your relationship to be focused on Him. You can do so through praying together, worshipping together, going to Bible studies together and the like. Spending time with God gives you opportunities to open up and have real, deep conversations with your partner. Through sharing your faith, you are given opportunities to talk about thoughts, feelings, joys, fears, hopes, disappointments, and so on.
Healthy relationships exhibit strongly shared hopes and values. Be encouraging and supportive of your significant other on their faith journey as well. From friendships to romantic relationships, we all understand the importance of honesty and the consequence of dishonesty. Being honest in a relationship is more than just not lying to your significant other though. It means being open and vulnerable with your feelings.
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You have to be unafraid to be unapologetically you. Are you ready to build this type of relationship? A great first step is praying to God and asking Him for guidence and support.