How to find out if someone is real on a dating site

We got our heads together to share our top tips for debunking a catfish. A catfish lies about who they are, often going to extreme lengths to continue their lie. They tend to use social networks like Facebook, Instagram and different types of online forums.

How to tell if she's an online dating scammer (Savvy trick works every time!)

None of the above methods are fool-proof, but they can give you a good indication as to how credible somebody is. If you are going to meet up with someone online, we would strongly recommend you did it in a public place, in the daytime and took somebody with you or had them within close proximity. Never go without telling an adult first. Sometimes it happens, but we learn from our mistakes and move on. Glenn Whitter is a man who targeted victims on an online dating site with the sole intention of scamming them out of their money. He was able to coerce many women into giving up their entire savings.

6 signs that your online date can't be trusted

He was very sophisticated in his deception and specifically targeted his victims based on the information that they chose to self-disclose on social media. Whatever their interests were, Whitter made sure to make them his also. He was able to portray himself as the perfect catch for each of the women he scammed. He even was so bold as to take one of the women to "his condo" in Toronto, though as it turned out, he was not listed in any records as the owner of the condo.

Whitter has since disappeared and has an outstanding warrant for his arrest. The Whitter case illustrates the issue: When you are dating online, you have to be aware that the person that you are communicating with might not be who they say they are. In fact, people lying on online dating sites has become so prevalent that a popular documentary film and television show coined a term for it--being "catfished.

The good news is that you can protect yourself by learning how to spot a phony while dating online. I go in-depth on the topic in my book Catching the Catfishers: Disarm the Online Pretenders, Predators and Perpetrators Who Are Out to Ruin Your Life , but for now, let's take a look at seven indications that someone that you are talking with might be catfishing you and use them to help catch the catfisher.

Video chatting with a person that you meet online is a common, normal practice in online dating. In fact, all the couples I know who met online said that their first real conversations were over the phone or by video chat. If a person makes excuses every time that you want to Skype or talk via phone, this is a red flag.

They might claim that they don't have time, or that their camera is broken, but keep in mind that every modern day smartphone, laptop and tablet has the ability to video chat. If you ask them repeatedly and keep getting excuses, be concerned.


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This person is hiding something that they don't want you to know. Do they have a realistic amount of digital puzzle pieces that, when followed, piece together a real person? Almost everyone in the United States has some sort of Internet presence that when pieced together creates a real identity.

It is very rare that someone would have no Internet presence at all. If you do basic research, such as conducting a search using a portal such as Spokeo. Even most social media sites that allow strict privacy settings will at least show you the first page of a person's profile. Most professionals will at least have a LinkedIn page. If you cannot find anything on the Internet about a person, they might not be telling you their real name, which is again a red flag. Do some reconnaissance by using search engines to find public records.

Calling Catfish – How to Spot a Fake Profile

You might discover that as with of Glenn Whitter other people have complained about a person. If a person says they own a house, you will be able to easily determine if that's true, and also where it is and how long they have lived there. You can also find legal documents like bankruptcy filings, divorce records and sometimes marriage licenses. Some cities and states even post traffic tickets online. When people are communicating online, they will frequently send each other photos in real time. During a conversation, ask to see a photo of the person right then.

9 Ways to Spot “Fake” Dating Profiles (From Pictures to Messages)

If they refuse, or make some excuse, that is a red flag. If they have only sent you one or two photos, it is likely that they took that photo from someone else's social media page or from somewhere else on the Internet. Do an easy Google Image search on a photo and see if it pops up on someone else's social media account or elsewhere online. Recently, Notre Dame football star Manti Te'o was catfished by a 22 year old man named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, who claimed to be Lennay Kekua, a 23 year old woman.

2. Are There Empty Sections on Their Profile?

Tuiasosopo even sent a photo of a beautiful girl who was purported to be Kekua. Eventually, a photo search revealed that the photo had been lifted from the social media site of an unwitting 22 year old woman named Diane O'Meara. We don't know the substance of the online communication between Te'o and "Kekua," but most likely she was not able to send real time, on demand photos because they didn't exist.


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  • 9 Ways to Spot Fake Dating Profiles: From Pictures to Messages.