What does second base mean in dating

It can be a hellish place to be. Does inviting or accepting indicate a disposition to consider a romantic attachment with someone? It does in my book, but that may have something to do with the way I ask or am asked. It's always "clear" that that's the intention. And if the askee isn't inclined to that, they'll either decline or make a point of the lack of romantic interest with a lie: I like to go but you know I'm seeing someone, right? I think it depends how it's communicated. When I say it, I mean it. There's nothing worse in dating than not being clear about what the fuck's going on.

If you don't have an intention of going out with someone, you shouldn't say you want a rain check. Usually, what I do, is when someone says say such a thing, I'll say something along the lines of, "Cool. Let me know when you change you're in the mood. There've been exceptions, though. The person I've been most enamoured with has also been the person I've been most persistent with. I think a lot of people don't talk about the stuff with their partners as it's very much a "fragility" thing. People don't want to be the one to look like a fool and feeling something for someone who doesn't feel anything for you can make one feel very foolish indeed.

The smart courter, however, turns that to his or her advantage. Being smitten with someone and communicating it with humor, romance, mystery, excitement This isn't to say that there aren't some things that are better left obscured what would dating be without mystery? I've known more than one person, uncomfortable with what she was feeling, who denies those feelings both to herself and, verbally, to me.

Baseball metaphors for sex - Wikipedia

They usually go on to admit their lie years later, but "preserving the ambiguity" is pretty much at the root of it. Some people have it down to an art. I find those least honest with themselves have the most difficulty being straight forward with others, though that may be stating the obvious. If anything, I've been "successful" in my dating life by wearing my heart on my sleeve. When asked what I think the best qualities a mate can have, I answer: If you can hit home runs emotionally, you'll more often do so physically. You'll also be stronger each time at bat.

I don't "agree" with griffX. One word that seems to be completely gone from dating vocabulary and which you would have heard in many American films and TV shows is the word "steady" we're going steady; he's my steady, etc. I think that's unfortunate. I like the word and it is considerably more applicable to today's dating environment than to the one that hatched it.

Today, many people date many people at the same time. They could refer to their "regular" as their "steady", but they don't. Sorry to babble, it's a topic dear to my heart. Like many non-Americans, I've always been highly confused about the semantics and the system of dating It's interesting the system of dating is mysterious to others.

What is the process of courtship outside of the US? I mean, most everyone has progressed from clubbing the female over the head and dragging her back to the cave, I assume? I can't picture you bartering cows for wives, either, Miguel. If a guy, asked about the status of his relationship to a woman replies 'Well, we're dating', that means that he and said woman have not been intimate I wouldn't say I was dating a woman until we'd been intimate; before that I'd be "kind of seeing her" or something.

I didn't like online dating very much because you can spend a lot of time and energy trying to get to know someone via email or on the phone, and it doesn't really matter if you don't have chemistry in person. Until you get the two people in the same room, you can never tell. No, I genuinely don't know.


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I've never had an American girlfriend, though I've often dreamt of one. Till the age of 12 - when I was moved from the Anglo-American side to the Portuguese side of the English school I went to - almost all my girlfriends were Americans. But that was as a child - nor really the same.

To tell the truth, I really haven't met any American women when I wasn't with someone else I was serious with at the time, so the opportunity never arose, unfortunately. There is no such thing as "dating" and "dates" in Europe, including the UK. You shouldn't have asked about bases. It varies wildly even in small sections of states, never mind the whole US of A. And the bases always seemed to get redefined every two years or so from ages If real baseball were played the same way older children explained sex to us, veteran baseball players would be faced with a field where first base was a mile away and then the other three bases were within 3 feet of that.

I grew up in the US, and I find the whole dating etiquette system to be ridiculously complex and formal. I've never been able to explain it adequately to a European. On the other hand, I arrived in Europe with the American idea that you have to go through an entire negotiation process when you start sleeping with someone, and it took me a long time to get used to a more spontaneous way of doing things. French doesn't even have a word for "dating", and the whole concepts of "commitment" and "relationship" don't translate very well, either. In France and Spain, the philosophy is that you sleep with someone first, and then you figure out if you want to be with them -- the direct opposite of what seems to happen in America.

There's a lot less pressure to define what an affair means, and people seem to fall in and out of love more completely and quickly than in the US. The whole "bases" thing is really part of early adolescence, a way for boys to brag about their first fumbling sexual experiences when they're still virgins. I don't know about today, but when I was a kid there was still a lot of stigma attached to girls who "went all the way", and so boys often had to settle for what they could get. I have to pipe pipe back up and add my disagreement to what dobbs and kirkaracha said in response to GriffX.

This is helpful in distinguishing the relationship from "going out," which more or less implies monogamy, although you can increase the ambiguity by saying "I've been going out with so-and-so. While she was away, I went to a party held by some of her friends, and when I met her friends who didn't yet know me, I explained my connection was that I was dating so-and-so. There had definitely already been plenty of intimacy.

But she was not my girlfriend yet. I'm American, and most of my adult relationships have started that way. And I don't think it's that uncommon, really.


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If you start sleeping together right away, then the point of the "dating" could no longer possibly be to lead up to the sex Funniest thing I expect I'll read today. I think I've almost never been on a "date" as I see the word. To me, a date is like an appointment to hang out with someone you don't know well, to see if you have any chemistry and then to see if you'd like to continue to see each other.

So, if you were hanging out with a guy, it was a date. If you hung out with girls, not-a-date.

Baseball metaphors for sex

Hence the weird terms like "double dating" which was a "safe" way to date, I guess. I usually go out with people that I already know I like through some other context [we're friends from work, we knew each other online, we're friends of friends, they used to date a friend of mine in high school] when it's clear that there's chemistry and we just want to spend some time together. I also have a lot of guy friends, so there has occasionally been some confusion about what "Do you want to go to the movies with me?

Other things I think about dating: This is not quite as clear cut when you say "go out with".

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No, but you shouldn't be surprised if that's what they're thinking. As a woman, I try pretty hard to make it clear to people who ask me to do something if it's a "let's see what happens" affair, or an "I like you only in a friendly way" event. Similarly, nowadays, when I invite guys to do things, I make sure they know I have a boyfriend and am not looking for any other romantic interests, so they know what they are getting into up front. Seems like common courtesy, but a lot of people I know don't do this. A rain check to me means "try again later" I think it's easy to clear this stuff up at the time and see if there's another possibility.

So if you say "how about next week? As a result, I advise my guy friends to make it pretty clear how they feel and be on the lookout for "I like you as a friend" indicators [like bringing friends on dates, not dating in the evenings, not returning calls, making excuses that wouldn't stop someone who was really interested in your, etc]. I also know a lot of guys who seems to have long-term commitments to people they don't seem to really like very much. They are clearly getting something out of the relationship [sex?

I don't get that. When I was in hogh school and a bit into college [late 80's] you had to pretend that you weren't sleeping with people you were dating, only maybe people you were "going out with" which was like being engaged to being engaged in the Catholic enclave that I grew up in. I think Americans can have a hard time admitting that they're looking for sex and some companionship as opposed to a lifelong committment, or the potential thereof.

As a result, you meet men who keep you at arms length because they think you want to breed with them, and you have women who are either wanting to breed [at my age] and being really weird about how they meet and go out with men, or who become strange wallflowers who play a lot of the games Dobbs describes. Intimacy freaks a lot of people out and the weird ritual dance that is dating only makes it even weirder.

MY FIRST TIME GETTING TO SECOND BASE - STORY TIME

For historical background, Dating Do's and Don'ts posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8: These are just my experiences and highly generalized. I am now 45 years of age and living in Atlanta, so others' milage may vary. Until about 10 years ago, asking for and accepting a first date was fairly much non-committal except that it had to be a full-blown date of dinner and entertainment.

The second date meant "I'm interested but I want to get to know you better, " and the third meant, "We're having sex tonight but dinner had better be good. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This is the latest accepted revision , reviewed on 12 January Baseball portal Sexuality portal. Soccer and American Exceptionalism.