Some OKCupid data-crunching found that phrases such as "notice that," "good taste" and "you mention" yield a high response rate.
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They indicate you took the time to learn about your target, instead of just peering at his pictures, letting a drop of drool roll slowly down your chin and then sending a generic message that makes him seem totally unspecial. Everyone wants to feel like a unique and sparkly snowflake, so pick out something intriguing from his written profile his love of "X Files," his advertised salad-making skills, whatever and mention it in specific.
First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground
Relatedly, praise is always an easy way to endear people to you and a much less slimy approach than the famed "neg. Uh, a literate, typing ape, that is.
Research consistently shows that we like people who look, move and -- critically -- talk like us. So tailor your tone to match that of the apple of your eye.
She's wry and sarcastic? Turn on the drollery. He's earnest and passionate? Amp up the sincerity.
How to write that first online-dating note
But -- cue the sappy learning-moment-in-"Full-House" music -- don't start blathering in a voice that feels totally phony to you, mmkay? We're assuming you're interested because you have some personality traits in common Maybe some people out there love receiving verbose messages, but we'd argue that brevity is a virtue. Who's more intriguing -- the hottie at the bar who wanders over and rattles off a six-minute monologue blending compliments, autobiographical bits and small talk, or the Cool Kid who drops a quick remark and waits for encouragement to continue?
The Science of Love Dating Statistics. No Comments Yet Comments are closed.
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Subscribe Elevate your love life with practical dating advice delivered right to your inbox. On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point.
But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes!
11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses
Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.
A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.