Dating a law firm associate

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Dating at the Office: Working Women Share Their Stories

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Having worked at a large law firm in Texas for many years, I unfortunately think that this answer is different for men than it is for women. It was assumed that I was having a relationship with a co-worker I was not and I had to have meetings with a senior partner about it and I do feel like the perception hampered my career.

My co-worker I was suspected of having the relationship with did not have the same meetings or the same experiences I did as a result. As a woman in a male dominated firm and practice, I felt that I always had to be much more above reproach than the men I worked with. Now, having spent so many years on my career, and being single, I view my career as a very valuable asset and I will not date anyone at the office for fear of jeopardizing that asset.

But then again, I also keep my personal friendships outside of the office as well. The law is just too gossipy of a field. I met my husband at work — so I definitely have personal experience with this one!

Romance and Dating

We started dating about one year after I worked there — only one mutual friend, because the three of us would hang out basically every weekend together. We kept our relationship a complete secret for 1 year! We were SO careful. We never drove together to work functions, or left together. I remember one night leaving a post-work function happy hour — where we drove separately to a meeting location then drove the rest of the way to his apartment together!

We hardly spoke to each other in the office, definitely never flirted! Once we were ready to move in together, and when I was ready to move onto different job we stopped going out of our way to hide it. I would also caution any 1Ls or potential law out there against dating in your law school class, especially if it is rather small. I was warned against this, yet ignored the advice and have paid for it dearly. This is especially hard when you attend a small law school in a small town which I do and are single! But things can get messy pretty quickly and gossip is crazy in law school!

I think law school is just like middle school regardless. Several of my friends and I merely had close friendships with people of the opposite sex and had rumors spread that we were engaged to those friends. I did a masters at a very very small law school. I really tried to stay out of the dating scene, which hampered my social life, but also kept me out of the majority of the drama.

SO not worth it. At my old job I frequently carpooled with a male coworker who lived near me and the rumour mill was all over that one. At my current job, I gave a male coworker a ride when his car was in the shop. There will alllways be office romances, and they will alllways be contentious. If you have a high-powered career, and work a lot of hours, it would be really hard to meet people outside the office — when do you have time? I have seen a lot of relationships implode over this very issue.

I agree somewhat — I think at some point you have to be open to dating people you are around… and if that is always work-contacts, then so be it. But, you just have to be careful!

Romance and Dating | Above the Law

Date people that might be work related contacts, but not necessarily at your firm, or in a division where you might work with them often. I do have a friend who works in Physical Therapy at a smaller office — and she just started Match. So, if you actually have the time to go on dates… there are other options!


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Most people I know seem to meet people online or through friends, not at work, once they are actually working. However, he will be leaving the firm in the next years and since I am a pretty new attorney I assume I will be too.


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Another work-romance-to-marriage engaged success story here. We worked together before I went back to school. Any advice about breaking the news? Just stop being so secretive. I am another office-romance success story, but after practicing employment law and conducting sexual harassment prevention training for the last few years, I am sort of appalled with myself.

In my defense, I knew he was The One when he walked in to interview me for the job. He was the senior associate in our litigation group and I was a junior associate. Neither of us was married or otherwise attached, but we worked together for a year before he asked me out. When he did, he told me that a partner in the firm had told him it would be highly risky to date me, but that he had thought about it at length and he thought it was worth the risk. I still get choked up thinking about him saying that to me. After that, I was no longer allowed to work with him, which was OK.

We got married, kept our jobs and both made partner eventually, then left the firm at different times for different opportunities. Were happily married with three kids now. At least half and probably two-thirds of the sexual harassment cases I have handled as an attorney stem from workplace romances — everything from one-night-stands to full-blown extramarital affairs — gone bad.

I married my boss. However, this was pre-law school, and it was clear that the job was the sort of thing you do short-term before moving on to grad school. That said, I was and am! I am another success story, but I know I am the exception, not the rule. I met my husband on the 1st day of work at the Organization I was working with, and it was love at first sight for both of us. He proposed after 1 month, and 4 months after that we got married.

We have been married for over 4 years and have 18 month old boy-girl twins. We are working in a different country now and are still crazy about each other. Almost no one knew we were dating until 2 months before we got married, and they found out just because we stopped being so careful. But the speed at which everything happened transformed us into the favorite gossip and people with bad previous experiences started almost betting on how long we were going to last. I was 29 at the time!