Traditional chinese matchmaking

Wedding Customs & Rituals in China

Please refresh the page and retry. W e should feel grateful for having more freedom to find the person we want to be with than people had in ancient China , where marriage was often decided by parents or even the government. And during some periods, such as the Jin Dynasty , marriage policies could go to extremes.

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Single women had to get married by a certain age. If a female was still single at 17, there would be a forced marriage with the involvement of local administrators. But such extreme policies were rare.

How to GET MARRIED in Ancient China

Ancient Chinese had more subtle ways to encourage people to find a spouse. As early as the Zhou Dynasty c11th century to BC , officials in charge of people's marriages appeared. The Rites of Zhou Zhou Li , a Chinese book on organisational and bureaucracy theory from the middle of the 2nd century BC, recorded the creation of this kind of officer. During the Three Kingdoms , Southern frontiers in China had official matchmakers too. The traditional complicated engagement processes before marriage were also simplified by the policies of the Tang and Song governments, to encourage more people to get married quickly.

Official matchmakers became more professional, appointed by the government and even with certificates of authority later in the Yuan Dynasty In the ancient monogamy marriage stage, the husband owned everything in the family, including his wife, children and property, and the main task of women was bearing children to carry on the paternal lineages. According to Confucianism, a marriage is the beginning of ethics and a wedding ceremony is the essence of etiquettes, which has a substantial influence on social stability, and only those marriages with formal wedding ceremonies are recognized by society.

The basic principles of an ancient marriage mainly involved the matched social status, the dictates of the parents and the advice of the matchmaker, the ban of the marriage for a couple with the same surname and the tolerance toward polygamy. The marriageable age was 20 for males and 16 for females in ancient China, and an ideal standard of marriage was well-matched in social and economic status for the two families.


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Although it was superseded by the civil-service examination system in the Sui Dynasty , it was still a tradition for the concerned parties to get matched according to their social and economic status, which was followed by the Tang Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty Free love was absolutely banned in ancient China and was widely condemned as an offence to public decency according to the traditional Confucian ethic codes, so it was the task of parents to arrange marriage for their children in order to maintain order of the traditional patriarchal society.

Not only was the arranged marriage formally favored by society, but it was also politically supported and enhanced by law in ancient China. Having never seen each other before their wedding day, this resulted in numerous unequal and loveless marriages.

Something That Irritates Me- Mulan's Matchmaker Clothes

The forbidden marriage policy on people bearing the same surname was launched and carried out in the Western Zhou Dynasty BC BC to guarantee a clear feudal patriarchal hierarchy and order of inheritance such as the throne and property. People of the same clan and surname were not allowed to get married in the Tang Dynasty , especially among members of royalty.

The law interdicted the intermarriage between people of the same clan in the Ming and the Qing dynasties; however, it allowed people of the same surname but of different clans to get married. Generally speaking, it was a traditional national policy to carry out feudalistic monogamy in ancient China, however, the traditional Chinese culture didn't prohibit or explicitly encourage polygamy a man and multi women.

When it is done, children were invited onto the bed as an omen of fertility. For the same reason, the bed was scattered with red dates, peanuts, longan and lotus seeds. In the past, Chinese wedding dresses were mainly Zhongshan suit or Mao suit for the groom and Qipao for the bride. The main color would be red and the dresses would be decorated with embroidered dragons and phoenix or peony flowers for wealthy wishes. Bride should wear phoenix coronet and robes of rank, new red shoes and a red covering veil.

Groom should wear a big red flower made by a nice piece of silk in front of his chest. Since Chiang Kai Shek and his wife got married wearing a western style wedding dress in s, the westerns wedding dress gained popular gradually in China.

Primitive Group Marriage

Today many Chinese brides choose three dresses on the wedding ceremony. Below is a detailed picture showing the evolutions of Chinese wedding dresses over the years since the end of 18th century. On the wedding day, the groom will set out to the bride's home in the morning and will inevitably get blocked at her door by her families and friends.

The bridesmaids will play door game with the groom and his attendants. Though this basic process sounds simple, there are many traditional Chinese wedding rituals you should know as noted below.

Chinese Culture

In the wedding morning, after the bride has dressed up, a close un-married younger sister of her has to use a five-colored string to post a cross in front of her face. This is a symbol of making her prettier and refreshing up for a new life journey. When the bride is waiting for the groom to come, she should sit on her bed with two embroidered quilts beneath her.

For the wish of a harmony marriage and a wealthy life, one quilt is embroidered with dragon and phoenix, the other with cute babies. This is mainly about taking their beloved bride away is not an easy mission and will teach the groom to treasure her in future. After the groom found her shoes and wear it for her, he should carry her to his car avoiding her feet touching ground. This is about avoiding bad luck. All those processes should be completed before the wedding reception as the reception is set to start at an auspicious time punctually.

The Chinese wedding reception is more like a banquet than reception as it can be a lavish affair lasting two hours.

Jordan: Traditional Chinese Family and Lineage

Invited guests should present their contribution to attendants at the entrance of the wedding hall. How much should I contribute for a Chinese Wedding? The number goes from to CNY according to how close you are to them. Then the groom and bride will be invited on stage. They will change wedding rings and vows, drink cross-cupped wine for the meaning of share joy and sorrow. In some region, the bride and groom will bow three times on the stage.