When I was 14, I chose not to date until I had graduated high school. I never wavered on this decision my freshman and sophomore years of high school.
Well, I was crushing hard on someone and could not remember why on earth I committed to no dating in high school. That winter, my youth group had a lock-in and one of my really close friends who was 2 years older than me and so had already graduated high school came to help out. I had previously talked to her about my crush and my decision not to date in high school.
Around 3 AM, I asked her if we could chat. She and I then grabbed a piece of paper and brainstormed all the pros and cons of dating in high school. When you date in high school, you learn how to date. You learn what you like about guys and what you want dating to look like. I would be practicing how to date, thus when I got older dating will more likely be easier. A boyfriend can be a great shoulder to lean on, which is a great pro to dating in general.
My friend told me that she and her ex-boyfriend had gotten too deep too fast when they were dating.
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I learned that one could get too deep emotionally and not just physically. When I was in high school I was in two choirs and insanely involved in my youth group. I also took several AP classes, so schoolwork took up a bunch of my time too. Realistically, I knew I could make a relationship work despite my busyness, but it would be hard.
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Especially considering how the guy I liked was super busy too. Okay, first I feel like I need to say that I know some people get married right after they graduate high school, and that is a different story. So dating in high school meant it would be a really long time before he and I could get married. I struggled with loneliness some back in high school. I knew that having a boyfriend would make me feel less lonely, but I knew that loneliness was a lie. I had friends and family around me who I could hang out with. Additionally, I believed Jesus was right by my side every inch of the way, so I had no cause to turn to a boyfriend to stop my loneliness.
My friend pointed out that now that she was single again, she felt freer to reach out to other girls around her and grow in friendships. She had more time to serve with her church than she did when she was dating. My resolve was strengthened. In fact, it was four years after my friend and I created the above list before a guy asked me out.
Now that Caleb and I are dating, I do kinda wish I had some sort of experience in dating to fall back on. Decision to add charges vs. Closs kidnap suspect will be sensitive.
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