First message to send on a dating site

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

You might think that words like gorgeous , beautiful , and sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them. On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:.

PLENTY OF FISH MESSAGES: 3 Openers & Text Examples To Get More Girls

The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out.

There’s more to it than you think

We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.

Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message – The OkCupid Blog

So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy. While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness.

Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like.


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Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. What should my message say? In brief, the ideal online dating message is concise, personal and yet not too invasive - you are looking for that perfect balance of wit and interest without coming across as too intense.

The tips aboce should give more insight! Why didn't I get a reply? Sometimes users won't reply to your attempts at chat. Try not to lose heart - it's very likely that this has nothing to do with you! Often, a user simply won't have seen your message yet: If it's been a few days, then it may be that their Premium Membership has not yet been approved and thus they cannot view messages , or it may be that they have recently met someone wonderful on our site and are yet to cancel their account.

What do the coloured circles mean? The chances of a swift reply to your chat are far greater when you contact an active user of our site.

Master Flirting on Tinder With This Comprehensive Guide

You can easily check this on their profile by taking note of the coloured circles next to the names in your partner suggestions folder. A green circle means that they will have logged on to EliteSingles in the last 24 hours. A blue circle means that they have logged on in the last 28 days and you can see precisely when by hovering your cursor over the dot. A grey circle means that they have not checked their account within the last 28 days - as can happen when, for instance, a user is on holiday.


  • Exactly What To Say In A First Message – The OkCupid Blog.
  • First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground.
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  • How to Write Your First Online Dating Message.
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  • These Are The Best First Messages To Send Over Dating Apps.

Is there anything I shouldn't say during a chat session? We are passionate about keeping our customers safe. That's why we have a Validation Team who manually approves all new profiles.