I haven't thought one time of leaving him but have been having a hard time supporting myself alongside him through the hard times. I constantly reassure him im here when hes ready to let me be. Sometimes i talk to him and he doesnt say a word back. He wont look at me, he wont speak to me.
I feel like im a burden to him instead of a support system.
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He has opened up to be a few times in the past about his injury and allowed me to have his back. This time its different, and has almost been a month since this has all been going on. My son is noticing a difference in his whole demeanor as well and takes it personal, like hes done something wrong Do you have any advice for me?? My husband suffered a TBI in He was successful physician which after the accident his license was taken away.
Our lives have been turned upside down. He was in a day program for 16 months. Learning how to speak, write and walk correctly. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that this all happened. We have good days and we have bad days. And the days that are bad I just have to keep telling myself that this day will pass and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
We wrote this book hoping it would help one person. I was so afraid of the future and so was he. There was not many books out that I thought could help me.
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This book shows you a lot about what a brain injury survivor goes through and also the caregiver. I hope somebody reading this will find some part of the missing puzzle in the book. It is available on Amazon. He was hit by a car in I found this site in a desperate attempt to find others who go through the experiences of having a partner with TBI. I get very confused with my partner and some of the things he says.
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He will often contradict himself and his temper is dreadful. He often uses the wrong words for the context. I feel very suffocated in my relationship. I often walk on eggshells, in an attempt to avoid his anger bursts. I don't feel like I can feel any normal human emotional with him because he blows it out of proportion and it ends up being about him. Our entire life is based around dealing with his TBI. We have 5 children between us.
I am the provider and then I organize the house etc. I get so tired overseeing everything. Today he told me that nothing he does is good enough and that I keep asking for more and more. I've come to learn that as a partner of someone with a TBI it is so important to do things in life that make you happy. Your TBI partner generally hates who they have turned into and the last thing they want is to see you restricting your life in order to align with their limitations. A TBI partner cannot give you the normal relationship life. They are simply unable to.
Being with a TBI survivor means temper bursts, unstable emotions, contradicting their words, fatigue, inability to participate in some physical activity. If you are going to stay with a TBI survivor, you do need something for yourself. You need to have something that rejuvenates you. There will be an emotional gap with a TBI. It's not that they don't love you. They are brain damaged and their altered emotional state and often poor ability to communicate can cloud what that looks like.
After the coma, there were extremely frustrating years of therapy learning how to walk, read, reason and perform basic independent living functions again. It was torture needing help having to ask a stranger which bathroom said "Men" after leading men in combat for years. Although my girlfriend was by my side for the first year of my post TBI life, she eventually got tired and bored, so she left. In the years since then, all of my relationships have ended like clockwork after about 3 months. I've given up on the chance that I'd ever find someone who would love me enough to see beyond my difficulties and just appreciate the loyalty, humor, passion, and love I have to offer.
It feels like either contemporary singles are too fickle to prioritize the heart I don't know, but reading these posts shows me that it is possible that someone may at least want to try one day. And sorry for writing a Novela here, but this is my first time sharing in any forum where I feel like someone might be able to understand. The world doesn't feel so suffocating right now.
But also, just do the things you enjoy and find a way to appreciate what you do have, no matter what happens. I hope she's out there for you. I was so sad to read how much you are struggling in your relationship. I would just caution about making generalizations about all persons with TBI. I have been living with a TBI survivor for just over a year. She has thus far moved out three times because of disagreements and she uses moving out as a weapon because she knows how much I love her and how it will hurt me.
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She just presently moved out three days ago, took what furniture was hers, etc. I am at a loss here and am frazed. I love her and want to be with her as I think she does with me. Another thing she does is manipulate a disagreement to make it seem like I am the bad guy and never sees her actions as causing the argument.
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She also has very explosive anger issues and is very controlling but she turns it around as if I am the controlling one. She's also very antagonistic and has absolutely no empathy when it comes to my feeling. I am at a loss here. I don't know if its even worth continuing in a relationship any longer with her. I feel there's absolutely no stability in her actions. One minute she lives here, a few weeks later she leaves and repeats the cycle She also goes from hot to cold in that she's so in love with me to then breaking up.
The thing is women are different creatures with or without a tbi.
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Unfortunately, with therapy it gets better, but we will take the brunt for the most part. As they re learn their emotions again. The breaks start to get longer apart as time goes on. We as the man in this situation have to be strong. Allowing them to just be free. I learn to laugh and joke about it. Remember they are a little emotionally up and down. So, if it hurts you that bad maybe try seeing a therapist or get on meds. Or just call it quits, there is nothing wrong with that.
I met an amazing woman who suffers from and abi after a mva.
Initially, she was loving and would say how much she loved me and many other things. However, her decision making needed assistance and just two days ago, she had a massive arguement with me out of the blue. Called me names and said I was controlling, manipulative and have traumatised her. I can honestly say, I have never tried to control her or any of the other things I love her so much that I want to protect her.