Dating a girl with no money

Yeah…that is how it was supposed to work out with my ex. We agreed that he would do what he loved, earn less, and do more of the housework, cooking, etc. He needed so many reminders to drop off the dry cleaning that it actually would have been less stressful to do it myself because nagging him was unpleasant. He cooked dinner about twice a month; the rest of the time we ordered in. He theoretically had no problem with my earning more, but as a practical matter, we would both have been happier if he had earned more and I had been the one tasked with picking up the slack at home.

I think that if you have the supportive and confident attitude that someone mentioned above, things will work themselves out. As far as dating someone who has more time, that is more difficult. My husband likes to do his work late at night like 11pm-4am , and hang out with me while I am at home and awake. Then he gets annoyed with my 1 day a week activity because it takes away from the time evening that I would normally hang out with him.

Suggestions on this front would be welcome! My husband used to be very much like this — it was hard for me to plan evening activities, even work-related ones, because he would mope and make snarky comments. What really helped was when he got involved in an extracurricular activity he teaches karate for adults at a local community center, volunteer.

I really encouraged him to do it, because I felt like if he had something outside of work and home to do, I would get more freedom, and it worked out that way. Is there anything — recreational sports league, professional group, gaming club, etc. He is also very introverted!!! My DH does this maybe once a week — the guys call them clubhouse nights since they hang out at one bachelor pad or another and watch sports and drink beer. I encourage this, since it give me time to relax in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and a romance novel.

Sad to say, but I sometimes make even more of an effort to get out of work earlier on clubhouse nights since I get the apartment to myself so rarely. He is not a morning person and I can easily get away from 10 to However, when I used to attend my dance classes on Thu or worse, Fri evenings, that did not work out because he wanted to spend that time with me and resented that activity. My husband is the same about wanting to work all night! It sounds to me like he is making a choice about what work schedule works best for him.

But you have the right to spend an evening its only one a week! It seems healthy for you to have interests outside of your marriage. The snarky comments from him seem uncalled for. I had the same problem, and things changed for the better when boyfriend picked up some evening activities outside work. I make more than my husband — 2 times more — and I resent it. I really wish I married someone who made more money than me.

I hate to say it, but as educated as I am, deep down, I feel like the man should be able to support his family. This is how I was raised. I feel for you, Anonymous Lawyer. I hope that the two of you can figure out a way for him to make more money or to reduce expenses enough that you can find something that makes you happier or at least scale back your current job. You seem to be handling it the best way you can.

And also remember, this too shall pass.

5 Hard Truths About Dating While Broke

I feel this way too sometimes. My dad spent part of my childhood as a janitor. I clearly learned both good and very bad messages from this example. Because of our different backgrounds, I deeply resent his refusal to find a job that brings in any income while he looks for an attorney job, while he thinks it is crazy that I would expect him to find a job at Starbucks. Through therapy, I have come to recognize that while he is making mistakes, I was also being very disrespectful.

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I basically assumed that because I was working and he was not, then he should behave as a house-husband: I want a partner. And whether correlation or causation, I have had no sex drive whatsoever during his long bout with unemployment. I hope this economy will turn around and solve both of these problems. We are getting through these hard times via therapy and communication. We both know we are a wonderful match with a lifetime of happiness ahead of us.

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We just need to get through this very bad situation and bad economy. He is doing a better job of taking care of me, too. And I do my part to be supportive and encouraging, to hold my sour tongue when I see a pot in the sink, and to stop and really appreciate the hours of effort that went into a delicious dinner he made for us or into planning a fun weekend day. You are in a soul-sucking biglaw job because you want to be there.

If it sucks the soul out of you, leave.

6 Problems With Dating a Broke Girl

And do not use your loans as an excuse — I took out the full amount of loans for law school and worked at biglaw for a year before quitting and moving to a small firm. I still pay my loans albeit slowly and you can too. You should not be financing his happiness. You are not engaged and if it really irks you to be paying his bills, then stop. Until the ring is on your finger, your money is your money.


If you told him you were going to stop footing the bill, he would have to change. It is ridiculous that he finds it emasculating to clean a dish. He should want to clean the apt because it makes you, the breadwinner, feel better. When my husband was deferred he cooked, cleaned, and did the chores — because he wanted to make my life easier.

Having less sex is a natural evolution of a relationship and all parties should understand. He should love you regardless of how frequent the sex is. If you are actually never having sex, then this is actually a huge problem. This may sound harsh, but if you have those issues now, how can you imagine it will get better if he finds a job and you get engaged?

What happens if you get laid off or are home taking care of kids in the future? Would he expect you to do all the housework that is somehow beneath him now?

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Honestly, it killed my sex drive too because I could not respect him any longer when he could not or would not take a job that would provide for his own basic needs. At the end of the day, getting out of that relationship was one of the best decisions I made. Getting married which we discussed would only have ended in a divorce.

Does he have savings he can draw on? Or parents he can ask? You could make it a bit easier by asking him to just pay half the rent — you could still pay for smaller things like groceries esp. One possible angle might be to say, looks like you feel emasculated by basically acting as a house-husband, so maybe we can get on a more equal footing by you contributing to expenses. Totally agree with 3.

I understand the privileged background therefore too good for Starbucks mentality, and if the two of you are really committed then it may not be so bad for him to wait for a real opportunity to come along. But in the meantime, he should be viewing the two of you as partners who collectively need to get X, Y and Z done i. Since you are focused on one part of the equation, he should naturally be focused on others.

As for the sex issues, no sex drive whatsoever is bad. I think your sex drive is telling you what the posters here are telling you — you are talking yourself into staying in a bad relationship, and you should get out. You can do much better.

5 Hard Truths About Dating While Broke |

Just wanted to throw my 2 cents here, but honestly, if you have this many issues and are not even engaged or married , then you should get out of the relationship. Your significant other seems very self-centered. Especially once kids are in the picture assuming you have them. Things that annoy you now will annoy you tenfold once you have children. I have a hard time seeing a long-term rosy future for you with a man who uses sex as a weapon, which is what your BF is doing.

I could have written this exact post.