Oct 09, I know SO many girls -mostly from my dance class- anywhere between who just can't believe that I've never dated, gone out, kissed, etc.
I think it's so ridiculous, sick, sad, and disappointing that so many young people now think that they HAVE to date because it's what everyone else is doing, or so that they can brag about it and feel older than they are. It hurts both people in the relationship, especially later when you are at the age to get married. One of the main reasons I've decided not to casually date is because I don't want, when I'm married, to have this long string of emotional baggage or maybe just memories of something "innocent" from different guys that I've dated.
When I do get married, I want to be able to give my whole heart to my husband. And I know I probably sound sort of corny So what's a good age to get married? And when is the earliest you should court?
I agree with your corniness Laura, very good. Though I do think it's a little odd when people get married at 18 or younger. I'm hoping to get through college before I get married, because otherwise I might be pretty distracted. Though who knows, God may have something completely different in mind for me. I have a friend who said that she and her husband got married at 18, got through college, and now have no debt because there are certian perks to being married in college. I'd have to ask her for logistics on that. She said that if you're sure you want to get married, and want to go to college, you should definitely get married first.
It's actually less of a distraction because the guy's your husband, and not some guy that's picking at your curiousity lol I used to think I wanted to go through college without getting married, but no I'm not sure anymore Oct 10, For all those who don't know me, I'm The Werewolf's older brother: All of this is kinda open to personal opinions.
I've known quite a few people who just dated for the sake of dating anf wound up finding the person they wound up marrying. Nothing immoral happened either with any of them. As far as the amrriage age goes, it all depends on whether or not you're a man or a woman and what your personality is. I'm 23, and wouldn't think about getting married for at least another 2 years, whereas mine and Nathan's sister got married when she was just 19 and her husband was Oct 11, I know that decades ago people in our nation tended to get married much younger than they do now.
Resolved: Dating more people makes for a better marriage
Part of that is because of the baby boom where everybody was pairing off since anyone who wasn't married was considered a freak, another part of that is because people tend to focus on their education and getting ready for their careers, while others are commitment phobic or conditioned to just not be mature until later on.
How many mature 18 year olds do you seriously know? From my experience they are rare. I know that one point I've heard brought up before is that it just isn't practical to start dating at say 16 and wait 6 years or so to finally tie the knot. I know that people bring up what St. Paul says about chastity being difficult and that it is "better to marry than to burn. How many teenagers know how to properly discern marriage in a mature manner?
People personality wise change a lot especially during the teens and don't know who they are yet. Teen relationships are usually not known to last for very long. There are some but certainly not all teen relationships that do last a really long time but they may just be together out of routine or figure that they don't want to start over again with someone new after all of the emotional baggage they've shared with the other person, so unless something really awful in the relationship happens like one of them cheats they just stay together.
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I'm aware of the fact that this can happen not only for teens, but they seem to be especially vulnerable to this because they don't figure that they will get married for several years. And just because a couple stays together for a very long time doesn't mean that they will get married or that they will stay married. I heard of a couple who was together for 10 years and got married.
A year later they were divorced. I also had two classmates in high school who started seeing each other in 6th grade and in 11th they broke up. I know that one trend not only in Catholic circles, but in Protestant ones as well is to have say an 8 month courtship and then get engaged. According to sociological research couples that get married 18 to 24 months after meeting each other have the most successful and happy marriages. I know that we shouldn't base everything we do off of statistics, but they can help us at least when making decisions.
So what do people in the phamily think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites. I don't think anyone should date unless they are considering marriage. To date for the purpose of recreation, I find, is just plain silly.
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Relationships are not games. And pretending that they are will only breed immaturity and low opinion of relationships. One should only date if they are discerning marriage. Anything less is just friendship. I honestly don't know, though I would say no younger than sixteen. I have, however, been fortunate enough to meet many mature and responsible sixteen-eighteen year olds mostly homeschoolers. Many sixteen-eighteen year olds are not mature enough to maintain a relationship, I know.
But this is the age that they learn how and are capable of understanding the purpose of a relationship. You say that most highschool sweethearts don't get married, and those marriages don't last. However, I don't think it's because they began courting in highschool. I think it's because it's their first relationship. I don't think any first relationship will last-- whether it's begun in highschool or college or afterward.
A person can be very mature, but not have the selflessness or love to maintain a relationship. I think this can only be learned in a relationship. And I think it takes a while to learn, also. So, they can learn about relationships for four to six years, beginning when they are eighteen and finally getting it when they are twenty-four which, statistics say, is the best age to marry.
Or they can begin to learn about relationships when they are twenty-four, and finally get it at thirty. I look at kids these days, and marriages, and I know something is wrong. I once thought that that's because the kids began courting too young. Now, I don't think that's the problem.
After all, my grandmother met my grandfather at fourteen and married him at sixteen and a more successful marriage there could not have been. Are teens incapable of being mature? But our society doesn't encourage them to be.
Courtship vs. Dating - Debate Anyone? Showing of 20
So, it's not that these kids are too young to court. It's that they don't know what courting is. They settle for the more shallow, utilitarian dating. They aren't taught what a relationship is supposed to be. So they can't have one. And pushing back the age at which they can begin to learn won't help ignorance. You'll go from having young, immature kids to old, immature adults.
Frankly, I think this could actually majorly distort or skew a person's idea of normal. The more people you date, the more variety you see. The more variety you see, the less apparent normal becomes. Its a journey of compatibility. And hell, sometimes that means finding someone that's not normal at all! Baggage is about more than opportunities missed or lost. You've vastly over simplified it. Baggage has to do with emotions, with problems, repeated behaviors.
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Baggage arrises out of pain and hurt and situations beyond rather than within our control. If a person wants to get married and be happy and commit to one partner, don't you think the very merry-go-round that is endless dating could create baggage? Feelings of being unwanted, not being good enough, etc. In order to be a good boy- or girlfriend and later spouse, you first have to know yourself and I think we agree on this!
You must know your good and bad qualities.