Dating someone with a chronic illness

because sexuality doesn't depend on ability

I want someone who will help push me to do what I can, and not treat me like a glass doll. For the reason that I can do whatever I want, and this being another way of support from a non-chronically ill person. This is greatly appreciated by someone with a chronic illness because the world often views us as being fragile. I will ask for help when I need it. Yes, there will be times when I do need help with an assortment of things from basic tasks to injections, but let me ask for your help.

By letting me ask for your help, that allows me to keep my independence and gives you the right opportunities to help me. Even down the line when you know your chronically ill partner very well, you will learn when they need help with out asking for it, which will be appreciated because I know you have learned and studied my personal illness so well that you know my body langue and when I need help. Also, there is a misconception that a chronically ill person will not ask for help. Even though we trust you, we will ask for help even if it comes to the most basic tasks.

As a Spouse of Someone in Chronic Pain

Dealing with the side effects. Dating a chronically ill person does not just come with an illness and set parameters. There will be side effects mentally, physically, and even from the medications. So when dating a chronically ill person, there will be more than just the illness at hand.


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Such as with me, where my physical illness has given me mental illness side effects such as depression and anxiety. To a non-chronically ill person these can be normal, but if they are a side effect from from a chronic illness they will manifest in a different light.

Focusing on the good, not the bad

So please, partners, do not downgrade our side effects, and be ready for them because they can affect us as much as our original diagnosis at hand. When dating someone with chronic illness, there will likely be bad days that will test your relationship. The bad days can be bad for me with such a extreme amounts of pain, needing help with everything, or a bad diagnosis. So as a partner, do not let these affect the relationship because the bad will pass.

Depression and my own insecurities kept getting in the way of me doing the one thing I needed to do before I could ever settle down: Once diagnosed with multiple chronic and incurable illnesses, those insecurities skyrocketed out of control.


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I spent most of the time confined to my apartment, hanging out with my son or meeting doctors and medical professionals, unable to escape the chaotic whirlwind of chronic illness. I was isolating myself. I still struggle with this.

I Refuse to Hide My Invisible Illness While Dating

When I became ill, I was hit with the stone-cold truth that I might be unappealing to some individuals because I would be ill for the rest of my life. I had already felt the lash of men having a negative opinion of my being a single mother, the thing I am most proud of about myself. I felt like a burden. Even today, I sometimes wonder if being alone would be simpler. I know having a partner — the right partner — would be wonderful for the both of us. If I come with too much baggage.

If I have too many issues. And I know what men say about single moms. What do I really have to offer? I can always keep searching and I can always stay hopeful, positive, and most importantly, be me. It was my attitude about the situation. So I worked on, and continue to work on, those issues. But by making those priorities, as well as through my advocacy, I find myself better able to move forward and be proud of myself.

Advice for People Dating Someone With Chronic Illness | The Mighty

One awkward part of having an invisible illness is that, looking at me, you cannot tell I have two forms of arthritis. Online dating has been the easiest for meeting people. Getting myself dolled up for a date brings even more challenges. It's incredibly difficult to broach when you're in a new relationship.

Kylie has found writing to be a useful outlet to communicate what it's like to live with a chronic illness. She was also heartened by The Big Sick, an Oscar-nominated rom com about a man whose new girlfriend comes down with an illness that leaves her in a coma. She says there are also a number of other resources available, including support groups, to help people navigate the challenges of dating with an illness.

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