Six years ago, I was recovering from a breakup and had just moved to a new city where I knew very few people.
I have low self-esteem. Is online dating for me?
I was single and ready to mingle but also scared. I thought that dating with confidence was impossible.
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There is so much hype and anxiety around dating and meeting new people, but with some simple mindset shifts and practice I was able to do it with ease. Before I even signed up for a dating app or went out to meet new people I got clear with myself about what my expectations were and what I was trying to attract in a potential partner. Instead of thinking "I have to find the one," I adjusted my mindset and began thinking about dating as a new way to meet people and get to know myself.
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Become comfortable with solitude. Dating yourself is no different from dating anyone else.
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Find things you want to do and go do them. Branch out and try things you might not feel comfortable or willing to explore with other people.
Do things that interest YOU, not what you think would interest other people. If that means taking a four-hour bath with bubbles that reach to the ceiling and eating rocky road ice cream right out of the carton, so be it! The old standby for couple dates works just as well for single dates! Stock up on self-care supplies—bath oils, supplies to cook delicious meals, a nice bottle of wine, or anything that makes you happy—and spend a weekend enjoying your own company in the comfort of your own home.
From museums to parks to bars and beyond, there is always something going on somewhere. Go find the things that interest you!
Groom ahead of time, wear your favorite outfit, put on makeup if you wear it. When you look good, you feel good. A little confidence and willingness to shift your negative thoughts can make a huge impact. Dating with confidence is difficult, especially if you've ever been in an emotional abusive relationship or with an emotionally unavailable person.
7 Powerful Tips: How to Gain Self-Confidence - Fabulous Blog
Anyone who has ever endured the on again off again relationship, dated an unfaithful partner, or who has been shocked by the reality of their ex, would be smart to fear dating again. The problem is, many of us who have had these experiences blame ourselves, harbor anger and resentment, or just get stuck in the idea that we will be single forever.
This isn't confidence, it's avoidance. You may not be ready to set up an online profile, let your friends set you up, or head out on the town, but that's okay.