Dating for 1 and a half years

Three little words with big implications for one something woman. My partner and I have been a couple for 18 months.

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I love him—I have no problem writing that here. Why have I held back? But I've lately been wondering if there was something more to it—and what it meant, if anything, in terms of how I felt about myself or my relationship. To get a better handle on the topic, I decided to explore it with some relationship experts, Their insight turned out to be very illuminating.

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I posed the question to New Jersey-based professor of psychology Gary W. I explained that I was writing about why I haven't told my partner of 18 months that I love him. Okay, but I really have felt love for my partner for over a year.

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I think I've demonstrated that love as well. You saw from your last partner that when love goes wrong, leaving is easy. Be someone who chases their dreams, if you want that characteristic in your mate. Be someone who brings as much to the table as you expect from them. If you want someone who lives passionately, has an interesting, fulfilling career, has tons of hobbies, fills the room with their personality and inspires other through their actions, then you need to be that kind of person, too. This is where many of us fall short.

We settle for mediocrity in ourselves and yet expect to end up with Leonardo DiCaprio or Keira Knightley. If the double standard doesn't apply to you, it's possible you have too much patience. No one wants to be too judgmental. Part of being an adult is being tolerant and accepting of others' flaws. But many of us just stay in something "good" for too long, hoping it will eventually blossom into something mind-blowing.

It just says "good.

From what I've seen in couples who've found "the one," it usually doesn't take years to realize. It's somewhat early - usually in the first year, and sometimes in the first few weeks.

(Closed) Who got engaged at a year or less of dating?

If you're the right kind of person, who's done the necessary work on themselves, then you'll know very quickly. Assuming they're also worthy of you. And if you're not saying "I love you," it's not a tragic ending. It just means you could probably do better.

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Which is why you owe it to both of you to move on, and give each other room to find a better match. The problem we've gotten into as a culture is that we feel like we don't have the right to break up with someone if they haven't done anything morally incomprehensible.

But you don't have to wait until someone cheats on you to break up with them. You can simply leave if your heart isn't fully engaged. At least while you're just dating -- being married and raising kids together, yes, you need to stick around and give it every shot you can unless you've suffered too much to stomach any more. You can exit if you simply feel, "Hey, I like you. We're having a 'nice' time.

The sex is even pretty decent. But I want more. I deserve to feel more. And so do you. And that's the guilt-relieving part of my argument; you're helping them find someone better, too. Because chances are there's someone else out there who's a better match for them than you are, too.

You both just need to keep exploring. Because I believe the American divorce rate isn't due to people who were passionately in love but just drifted apart although that happens, too. I believe it's more due to people who just never should have been married in the first place.

Remember, it's the thought that counts.

And then finally admitted at age 49 what they probably should have admitted at age 24 when they'd only been dating three years. Guy, girl, gay, straight, whatever: