Dating mumsnet

Create a shopping list and be as specific as possible. Rather than saying "someone who wants kids", get granular. Say that you want someone who wants two kids, about three years apart and is willing to go through fertility treatments with you should pregnancy become a problem.

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Part of making your list is defining what you want. Once you've thought of all the traits you want in a mate, prioritise them. Think about the characteristics in the context of previous relationships, your friends and your family. Develop a scoring system. Decide the lowest number of points you'll accept in order to go out on a date with someone.

This is basically developing a handcrafted algorithm, just for yourself. Pick a few websites to use.

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People who use Tinder tend not to be looking for long-term relationships. It's OK to use two or three sites at a time. Bear in mind that you'll want most of the features activated, and that some sites can be expensive. For the most part, dating sites aren't doing anything particularly mysterious.

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Sites mostly create taxonomies and match users based on their answers. In some cases, sites look at the gap between users' answers and their behaviours. For example, you might say that you prefer a very tall man with dark hair who is religious, but mainly click on profiles for shorter atheists. The algorithm in that case would try to match you according to your behaviour. But maybe you're clicking on all of the profiles, even those that don't match your preferences, or sitting next to your sister, and she's also looking for a boyfriend — one who's short and blond.

In that case, the algorithm won't work either. It's best to treat dating sites as giant databases for you to explore. Long profiles typically didn't fare well in my experiment. I think that for thoughtful women, or women who are quite smart, there's a tendency to give more of a bio.

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Research required before physical contact could lead to unwanted eyes in your own country.