I am dating a girl that has a boyfriend

There are ups and downs in a relationship and she might be at her low at times due to a tiff with her existing boyfriend. This is where you come in. Comfort her intimately and constantly show gestures of care.


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  • Attracting a Girl with a Boyfriend | A Guide for Guys.

Otherwise also, frequent her place to work or accompany her during the least expected hours for brief shopping sessions or a coffee. But be careful of taking the hints from her. If she does not want you anywhere near her then take the hint and leave. Too much nagging can put her off or annoy her. You have to get into a private zone with her where only the two of you exist, away from friends and colleagues. This is important so that you can stand on her hallowed ground as that one man who is somewhat special.

She should want to chat with you and this is how you get to know each other well. But here comes in your sincerity, you do not be flirty, at least not over flirtatious. Maintain your innocence and make her your friend, but do not fall in the trap of the friend zone. A very important trait, listening is a virtue and you have to make sure that you are at the top of your game. Be a patient listener in the beginning and later use this as a way to make her understand the negatives about her existing boyfriend.

Women while being true to a relationship often ignore minor tiffs or deny terrible fights in order to move on. Remind her of such instances in a non-aggressive manner. Highlight what she is lacking in this current relationship and what she can get from you. Also, women like men who listen to what they have to say. It all finally comes down to this of course, you have to make her like you, or else everything else is futile. Only when she likes you can you make your move on her, look for hints that tell you that she likes you. If she goes out of her way to talk to you, she stays online to chat with you, she is smiling when she sees you, she tells you her relationship problems, she compliments you, and the best part is if she is flirting with you!

You can make your interest clear, but she has to decide how best to pursue her own happiness. If she decides, in the fullness of time, that she doesn't want to be with you, accept it and move on. You should not enable her to believe that she can have both you and her current relationship by postponing the decision indefinitely.

You want an exclusive relationship with her; you aren't willing to settle for less, and you shouldn't have to. This is the proper course of action. The fact that there was any kind of There should be no actions of that sort until she has picked either you or him, i.

How to Date a Girl who has a Boyfriend

I also back up and would happily put on the showroom floor every single one of Kevin Delaney's comments, eternally, as TheEgoist stated. Not only should you do what is suggested and not have any more of these non-friend actions with this woman until that decision has been made on her part, but I would also take a step back, perhaps not even have any social interaction with her for a day or two, so that you can disconnect yourself better, and objectively think about what kind of person this woman is based on what has all happened, again referring back to Kevin's post. I don't know this girl nearly as well as you do but based solely on the information you gave us I honestly think you are going to get burned sooner or later buddy, just because she has a bunch of other amazing qualities doesn't mean it can't and won't happen, been there done that before.

I have a suspicion that this lady is a master of having her cake and eating it, too. I appreciate your objective view it's why I come to this forum in the first place. The only thing I can say in her defense is that after texting her boyfriend and leaving out the kissing part, she was pretty miserable the rest of the night. Throughout the day today she's been talking about how much she'd love to be with me, but she needs time to wrap her head around this. Thank you for this At this point it's her move, and I'll just wait a few days and see what happens.


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If she continues staying with him, sleeping with him, and expressing interest in me I've been there before too. The best I can do at this point is give her the ultimatum and the benefit of the doubt. Thank you all for helping me wrap my head around this. It's always harder when they're extremely beautiful, driven, witty girls. I've looked into her past a bit, and our mutual friends have always spoken highly of her.

She's the "hopeless romantic" type Making a choice in a situation like this can be difficult, but you'll learn a lot about her based on how she responds.


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If she takes the bull by the horns, faces up to the facts and makes a decision, that speaks well of her -- even if she makes what you think is the wrong choice. If she tries to have it both ways by refusing to decide, acting as though the situation will resolve itself 'somehow', that says something else -- something bad. If she turns out to be that kind of person I suspect your desire for her will fade relatively quickly, because that kind of evasion would come out in many other aspects of your hypothetical relationship.

Rational people can be confused as hell — that doesn't give them the right to lie, and to fake emotional commitments they don't really feel.

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In an important sense, another person's character is not my business. I evaluate and judge their actions. It's really narcissistic to think that you're going to be able to turn an emotionalist into a rational thinker by aiding in her deception. Its a narcissistic belief because it arrogantly states that you can control the way another human being thinks.

Not only that, but you're ignoring the fact that you destroy any credibility with her by sanctioning her actions. She might play along and treat you like John Galt because she knows that you like it, but your 'Objective' relationship will be completely superficial and temporary. I doubt you'd be able to get her to read Objectivist literature and even if you could get her to do that you would still have to deal with her volition.

She's conditioned herself to put whims before facts and that's an extreme barrier to overcome for an adult.

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Why do I think this? Because everyone I've ever observed with a similar dating history gets there by acting on whatever feelings they have in a given moment. When she says she's confused what she really means is that she's unable to decide because she has an emotional attraction to both you and this other guy.

What To Do If She Has A Boyfriend BUT You Want Her

She isn't 'choosing' you in a rational way - she's giving in to whatever emotions she has when she's in your immediate proximity. The problem with this approach is that emotional attraction is extremely powerful in the first 3 months of meeting a potential mate. In a few months she's bound to cheat again for the thrills. Even Ayn Rand said that you can't reason with an emotionalist, and I believe her because its never worked for me. There's barely enough to go on here to think this girl is an emotionalist.

Now if this has been going for a long time, that's one thing, but that isn't the case here.

How to Date a Girl who has a Boyfriend | Dating

I think what Khaight suggested is good advice and I have nothing to add to his posts , everything else seems to be assuming a lot and almost psychologizing. People can make a mistake without it then labeling them as an emotionalist. A person's character cannot be judged upon a single action or mistake; character is someone's way of acting over a long period of time.

Wynand asked Dominique to marry him while she was married to Keating--he didn't wait for her to be "free. I think her complications are her business, but since you know about it, you should keep an eye on what progress she reports. This is a good point, and one that many otherwise rational people don't grasp. There is nothing morally wrong with expressing romantic interest in someone who is already in a relationship as long as you are willing to take "no" for an answer.

If you don't expect inquiries of that nature you should not have brought it up in the first place. It is one thing to say you refuse to comment, but another to act as if the inquiry was rude and as if you should be affronted by it. She didn't communicate much today—she mostly spent time with her friends. Tonight she's sleeping at her sister's house and not at her boyfriend's place.

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She seems like she's trying to distance herself from the situation to think about it. So far so good I guess. Thank you all again for the replies. I've read over all of them at least once. Gives me a lot to think about. I suppose my own judgement should be enough, but as I'm dealing with my own irrational tendencies negative automatic thoughts at times it helps to get some verification.

I should probably have put a smiley on my reply. I'm not affronted by the question, although I am going to decline to go into further details. Apologies for the miscommunication; that one's on me. She didn't communicate much , but she did fill me in on those details. Not stalking don't worry. I'm going off a very limited amount of information, but take her previous actions, extrapolate them and you will have a good indication of how she will act. I really like Fabio, but Pieare really knows how to handle that whammy bar on his guitar.

Just plug yourself in to the equation. You say she is only dating this guy because he was there for her after a break-up. Not a good sign.