How to not get jealous when dating

If you don't spend enough time with your girlfriend, then you are failing to nurture the connection between you. As this connection gets less-strong, she may become more insecure in the relationship. This insecurity will manifest itself as jealousy. So, make sure you take time for her, if you are travelling often, working often or otherwise occupied by a project. Not all jealousy is in romantic relationships. Women and men will sometimes become jealous of their peers if they have better things, more money and generally give the perception of a better life. This jealousy is sometimes stoked by the people it is focused on -- if someone gets a new car and makes sure to pick up her best friend in it, this may be a move to make the friend jealous by showing her the car.

Jealousy comes from the way one person interprets another person's behavior.

Skeletons in the Closet

A woman may become jealous solely because of the way she interprets the way her husband looked at, or talked to, someone else. This interpretation comes from inside her, not from her husband's behavior. Jealousy is not always unreasonable. If a woman's boyfriend is consistently hard to reach and consistently comes home late smelling like someone else's perfume, then she will likely be jealous. However, this jealousy isn't unreasonable, particularly if he can't provide a reason as to why he doesn't answer his phone and where the perfume smell is coming from.

Keep in mind that, while jealousy does come from insecurity, this doesn't mean it is always incorrect and irrational. Sam Grover began writing in , also having worked as a behavior therapist and teacher. His work has appeared in New Zealand publications "Critic" and "Logic," where he covered political and educational issues. Grover graduated from the University of Otago with a Bachelor of Arts in history.

Jealousy is seldom pleasant, so you should recognize it, and avoid it. Meet Singles in your Area! Insecurity Insecurity is a phenomenon that occurs in both men and women, notes psychiatrist and 'Today' contributor Dr. Neediness Some women need a lot of attention and affection. Perceived Superiority If a woman is with a man who she sees as substantially superior to her -- be it in looks, fitness, fashion or financially -- then she may become jealous around him.

Female Friends Women who are in relationships sometimes become jealous of their boyfriends' female friends. Here's how you do it: Understand how fortunate you are compared to most people in the world. Remind yourself that many people in the world do not have many basic things that you take for granted. It's likely that you've never had to deal with real hunger, that you're healthy and can see a doctor fairly easily, that you have enough clothes to stay warm, and that you don't feel oppressed in the place where you live.

This is more than many people can say. Understand that you have many things people would be jealous of.


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Make a list of at least twenty things you have that people would want. It could be as basic as "running water" or more elaborate, like "the ability to talk to make anyone laugh. Be realistic about the people you are jealous of. Make a list of all the things they have that you are jealous of, and then ask yourself if you have anything they would want.

4 Ways to Overcome Jealousy - wikiHow

For example, you may be jealous of your friend's amazing relationship, but she could be wishing that she had two loving, doting parents like you have. You may be jealous of your friend's new promotion, while she could be wishing that she was a talented artist like you are. Be a more generous person.

If you spend more time helping others, you will not only feel better about yourself for being more generous, but you will have a better understanding of what you have that others would be grateful for.

Overcoming jealousy: The 10 Dos and Don’ts

Volunteer in your community. To get a concrete sense of how fortunate you are, you can volunteer in your community to help people learn English, read, or get enough food at a soup kitchen. Being around people whose basic needs may not be met will remind you how fortunate your own life is. Help out the people you know. Help a friend who is going through a relationship issue, or motivate your friend who is struggling in his classes to finish school.

Understanding the hardships of others will make you see that everyone is struggling in some way, and that you're not the only person who wants to improve your life. Do the little things for someone you love. Help a friend who is going through a hard time do her laundry, or give a ride to a friend whose car broke down. You'll feel like a more helpful person and will appreciate what you have even more. Come to terms with who you are. Reflecting on your jealousy and working to make yourself a better person can go a long way in addressing your problem.

Still, you have to understand that no matter what you do, you will never be perfect, and that there will always be things you want. Realize that life isn't fair. You won't be able to have everything you want, no matter how hard you try, and there may be people who are truly more fortunate than you are.

But once you accept this fact, you can let go and stop trying to have it all. You may be a flawed individual like everyone else, but make time to enjoy your quirks and really learn to love being you. Make time for alone time, and really appreciate your own company. Focus on your positive qualities. Though there still may be a few things you lack, focus on the parts of your life that you love, such as your relationships, or your amazing job. Emphasize the things you have and love instead of thinking about the things you want.

Avoid jealousy in the future. Once you've worked as hard as you can to beat the jealousy that was taking over your life, you still need to make sure that it doesn't real its ugly head in the future. There are a few things you can do to make sure you don't see green in the future: Never take anything for granted.

Every morning, remind yourself of at least ten things you are grateful for. Making a routine of this will reinforce that you are a person who should not be jealous. Avoid situations that may lead to jealousy. If you can't help being a little jealous as a girlfriend, don't date a guy who tends to hang out with a lot of females.

If you have a friend who seems to have everything and who you can't stop being jealous of her, try to spend less time with her if it's making you feel bad about yourself. As soon as you realize that you're getting jealous of someone again, go home and reflect in a notebook. Why are you jealous of this person? How can you work to stop the jealousy before it gets out of control? Remember that it's healthy to be jealous once in a while. Don't beat yourself up if you can't stop being jealous about absolutely everything.

If your friend just got a brand new car and you wish you could afford one, or if your friend just announced that she's getting married while you really wish you had a boyfriend, it's okay to feel jealous for a little while. When jealousy consumes your life and informs your every action, then you have a real problem. Jealousy is a complex problem that may pretty easily cause disarray in the relationships between people. Jealousy does not come alone. It is usually accompanied by contempt and hatred.

You should avoid being jealous at any cost. But why are men jealous? These jealous men confuse jealousy with love. Jealousy in men appears because of the possessive and exploitative approach to women. Read the following guide to know everything you need to know about men and jealousy. When you like or love somebody, you should not try to control a woman or try to own her in any way. Unfortunately, men like to possess women and demand submission. Why do men get jealous? Perhaps, this is caused by historical and social reasons.

Moreover, you cannot love and control at the same time. The more jealousy there is, the less love remains. So, why do men get jealous? There are many causes of jealousy in men. For starters, men think that if a woman is free she may reject, cheat or hurt them in some other way. That is why men try to control women. In this way, men deprive women of liberty in order to stay safe.

When a man controls a woman, he makes himself responsible for anything that might happen. By controlling women, men have a power to control everything themselves using a woman for pleasure and comfort while avoiding risks. Men become possessive out of fear they might lose a woman.

Notice the Triggers

True love is voluntary.