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Not only that, but it probably shouldn't be moving at all until you find a way to reconcile both your needs and life aspirations! Similar to the above, if you've given up entire hobbies, time with friends, and many other enriching aspects of your life just to constantly hang out with your new partner, things may be escalating too quickly. Now, there's nothing wrong with spending lots of time with a new love interest. That's part of being smitten. However, when it makes a major impact on your life and changes the entire course of your day-to-day existence in a matter of days or weeks, then you might want to slow down a little and think about what you're doing.
One sign that should really stick out to you if your relationship is moving too fast is that there's little sense of flow.
Everything is a senseless challenge as you try to get closer to each other. For example, finding a place to live together is hard, your friends discourage you from moving forward, neither of you can agree on where you will run off to together, and so on.
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Sometimes even solid relationships can have it rough, but if nothing seems to be working out, it could be because you're moving too fast. Take some time to get to know your partner and assess the situation.
Relationship Moving Too Fast? 9 Ways To Slow Things Down A Bit
Also watch out for this common human tendency: It might give you this grand, romantic notion that you are "fighting" for your love , but really what's happening is that you're trying to force the relationship to be a certain way in spite of what is going on around you. This can sometimes be a bad thing and you may be so hell-bent on pushing your way onward that you don't realize it's best to slow things down. If the air in your relationship is that you have to constantly spend time together or the other person will get offended, then it's time to pull back a little. Never lose your individuality in a relationship; it's just not a good idea in the long run, as close as you might feel to your partner right now.
Always give each other some space. It will give you time to think and be a little more objective about the relationship, anyway. Do you argue about the pace of your relationship, in one way or another? For example, are you trying to convince your partner to move in with you and he or she is refusing, so this leads to arguing and discontent?
Is Your New Relationship Moving Too Fast?
Is it the other way around? Well, your relationship is moving too fast, in all likelihood. If you're arguing about commitment, then at least one of you just isn't ready to make the next step forward. It's time to slow things down and really think about where the relationship is headed--without imposing your expectations. This may seem like a weird "sign," but it actually points to a fairly common phenomenon. When you're not over your last relationship and you miss what it felt like to be so close to someone, you may have a tendency to rush into something new right away in order to experience those feelings of love and commitment again.
Subconsciously, you may be pushing the relationship to move too fast. If you suspect this could be you, think about it for a little bit.
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Obviously, there's nothing wrong with moving on to a different relationship, but make sure it's not merely a substitute for your old one. If your partner is trying to manufacture different ways to get you to agree to marry them or move in with them--or you're doing the same to your partner--then you probably need to slow down a bit. Basically, moving forward should not take very much convincing, if any at all.
1) You've had to alter major plans in your life.
Ideally, it should be self-evident that you both want the same thing. If you have to "convince" your partner of anything, then something is off. Finally, if you and your partner just don't seem to be on the same wavelength about the progress of the relationship, then things are probably escalating at the wrong pace. For instance, does your partner seem surprised that you introduced them as your boyfriend or girlfriend at a party? Do they seem uncomfortable when your friends ask them when you're going to get married? On the other hand, is it you who is getting uncomfortable and weirded out?
These aren't just signs that the relationship is moving too fast, these are signs of deeper conflicts that need to be addressed. Basically, if you want a rule of thumb, your relationship is moving too fast if you can't fathom how your life will realistically adapt to your new commitments. As we already talked about, if you're having to turn your entire life upside down all of a sudden because you're in a new relationship, you might want to slow down and consider things carefully.
Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. The Major point here has to be the first. If your relationship is very young and you are already altering your future plans just to suit it, you definitely are moving too fast in that love train. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.
Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Or Are You Just Afraid? The problem is when this progress feels forced or hasty. Let's take a look at some signs that your relationship is moving too fast and you're just not ready yet: Be mindful of these biases. Yes, and it turned out great. Yes, and it turned out to be a bad idea. Your Relationship is Moving Too Fast When You Can't Adapt Your Life Quickly Enough Basically, if you want a rule of thumb, your relationship is moving too fast if you can't fathom how your life will realistically adapt to your new commitments.
When Elizabeth Beanland, a senior at University of Massachusetts Amherst, went through this with her relationship, she found that taking a week apart from her partner helped re-do the pace of the relationship. If couples are already finding themselves in fast-paced relationships, I advise them to just spend less time together.
Is Your Relationship Moving Too Fast? Or Are You Just Afraid?
Three to four times a week is plenty, and definitely avoid sleeping over every night. Save it for the weekends! Though this was helpful for Elizabeth, some people may dislike the idea of spending an entire week apart. For people with those reservations, an easier way to go about spending less time with your significant other is to just try and plan more friend time. Whether it be a week or just weekday evenings, spending time apart will allow you to step outside of the relationship bubble.
That being said, if your relationship picks up pace again and both you and your partner are into it then go for it. Relationships are fickle, and what matters most is that the people involved are both on the same page. Zoe is a senior at Western Oregon University. She's the head of a freelance editing company, and the Editor-in-Chief at her University's newspaper.
She's passionate about equality, intersectionality and personality tests.