Having confidence is a huge advantage. When she says no, do not lose hope. If she is not interested, explore the possibility of having a relationship elsewhere. Consider having a new look that is more appealing. You can get advice from male and female friends on the new appearance. This includes grooming, clothing and hairstyle.
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If she says she just wants to be friends, stay calm and play along. Get back together as friends and avoid any topics about being lovers. Give her space to reflect as you plan your next move. Find out who her friends are and mingle. If you can manage to befriend her girlfriends and gain popularity, your chances are higher.
Make them laugh, have a good time and get close to all of them without making any moves.
When She Wants To Be Just Friends
Make some good comments about her in front of her friends and watch! You may be surprised that she might change her mind. It is not easy to ask someone out if that person has rejected you before.
If a guy has massive amounts of PASSIVE attractiveness like physical looks, wealth, power, or social status — that can showcase those desireable qualities in itself. In the animal kingdom, almost every species has a courtship ritual in which males show their best selves to the females. Why would you lead with advice that works for the minority? They then expect girls to eventually realize how awesome they are. You may even give her gifts and pay for special outings. And wait some more. She may have had interest in you initially but you never encouraged those feeling to grow. You never flirted with her to make her feel desirable or aroused.
You never touched her so she felt close to you on a physical level. You never had any sexy banter or intimate discussion to get her thinking about sex.. In fact, you were so scared of embracing your own sexuality around her that she never felt any sexual feelings around YOU. They would rather wait for a strong man to take that initiative usually while they provide really subtle hints to encourage him. The only time this starts to change is with age — women over tend to get more forward.
Once you feel a connection, you have to lead with your interest. They spend months chatting a girl up at school or work before inviting her to do something together. Attractive women have lots of interested men. A confident man has the courage to take the next step.
6 Reasons Why Women Always See You As Just a Friend
A man who leads conveys a lot to a woman. It reassures her that he can make the right, smart choices when necessary. It puts a lot of pressure on her to figure out the logistics with a new guy. Or that you ask her more personal and intimate questions. These all demonstrate a huge amount of self confidence. Suddenly, you try to lead and she hesitates or pushes back verbally.
Now, at face value, things can seem pretty clear cut. So most guys just back down, get nervous, and even apologize. Regardless, the guys who can playfully reassure her through those moments, make her laugh, and continue leading without shame build more attraction. Always playing it safe is a great way to make women feel comfortable around you. You need to stir up strong emotions within her. Going on a spontaneous adventure during a date. Expressing a controversial opinion. Disagreeing with her in a direct yet constructive manner.
Going for a kiss in the middle of a date rather than the end. Don't try to change your fundamental self to better match what you think women want, and don't adopt the outward appearances of someone fundamentally different from yourself.
Introduction
If you're nice but not dynamic, fine, be that. You'll stumble into someone right eventually. Still, I'd rather have someone say to me "you're ugly", or "your laugh is stupid", then "we really just don't connect" leading of course to, "well how do we connect? Look out, kids, AJ Ayer's on the case. Er, I meant to put up this " just not that into you " link, not my userpage. But I think basically the same analysis applies to men and women here. Calling it "chemistry" I think accurately describes how it's a mixture of a bunch of things and not any one thing that makes a relationship a no go.
With me, sometimes it's something as picky as "you have weird looking fingers" added to "you don't fill out a pair of blue jeans in a way that appeals" or it could be "I don't like the way you treat your dog" coupled with "you snore. Having to argue with someone about why you don't want to sleep with them or date them when, at some level, the answer is "because I just don't feel that way about you" is a bad situation to be in [leading to the "it's not you, it's me" answer that anonymous gets, it's a way to avoid that talk and she probably also means it]. I'm also with crush: ROU, in no way did I or, if I may be so bold as to presume, grumblebee mean that nice guys have to pretend to be someone other than who they are in order to 'get the girl'.
Nobody wants to be lied to. It's just a matter of making yourself the best YOU you can be.
When She Wants To Remain "Just Friends"
And wouldn't you want to do that anyway? You have to be yourself. You can't have a lasting relationship based on a persona. But hopefully you -- like most of us -- are a complex person. For years, I got the "nice guy" treatment, and that's still pretty much who I am. But the truth is that I played up being Mr. I played down the more aggressive sides of my personality, because I wanted to show that I was different from the asshole boyfriends.
Then I was shocked when the asshole boyfriends got picked and I didn't. It was really easy for me to draw the conclusion from this that girls only like assholes. But I ignored the fact that asshole boyfriend was more than just an asshole. Yes, he was mean to her, but he was also exciting and fun and dynamic and unpredicatable. I have those qualities too maybe not as much as some people, but I have them , and my guess is you do too. We tend to oversimplfy ourselves and assume we can't show all the different parts of our personalities.
Also, one can't totally override one's nature, but one CAN tweak it. In fact, when you're in a marriage or a longterm relationship, you kind of have to. There are plenty of people out there who say, "hey baby, that's just the way I am and I'm not changing for anybody. The key is to figure out what parts of yourself you can push and what parts you can pull.
And it really IS important. I'm not a great looking guy, and I once assumed that meant it wasn't worth bothering with nice clothes if you dress up a pig, it's still a pig. Those of us who weren't born looking like Brad Pitt often decide that physical appearance isn't important and that anyone who cares about it is shallow, so we purposefully don't invest time and energy into making ourselves look better.
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It's worth the time and energy. An average-looking guy who dresses well, works out and grooms himself sends a message of "I care about myself! I'm proud of myself! Confidence is not the same as cockiness.
But if a girl can't find a nice, confident guy, she'll likely settle for a cocky guy. One thing guys rarely reckon on is women's relationship with other women.
Women can be really hard on each other, and many women feel that they are constantly being judged and watched by other women. Added to this, women tend to be more social than men. So they will generally care more about the opinion of other women than I will care about the opinions of other men. And many women assume that if a girl lets her boyfriend or husband dress badly, SHE doesn't have any fashion sense. And in our culture, fashion sense is to women what athletic prowess is to men. So if she can't feel comfortable with other women seeing you, chances are she's not going to be comfortable dating you.
Many women are embarrassed that they care about this. They've been taught that it's superficial. It's actually much more complicated than that. It's wrapped up in a huge amount of cultural baggage. Still, many women feel some shame that they care about this stuff. I once had the experience of being romantically interested in a girl who just "wanted to be friends".
Then, I started dressing better and she said, "wow, I never thought you cared about yourself before. I could call her shallow, but the truth is that she wasn't.