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Someone will always be making more than the other It's kind of old fashioned to expect that it'll always be the male making more, isn't it?
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My husband was a line cook. He's since 'retired' to raise our son. I make about 3x what he did. Was it a problem? But our son gets a stay at home dad and that is far more important than his income. Money's tight, of course, but we're good. We've got a roof, heat, food, and lots and lots of love.
Our house is small, we've only got one car and it's older But we have a car!! My husband and I were 17 and 18 when we started dating.
Why I Don’t Date Men Who Make Less Money Than Me
Income wasn't an issue back then. There are more important things in life than money. Sorry you're having a hard time finding work. I'm sure you've tried agencies for that kind of thing? Women like that make me nuts. All for equality and I am This is the only sympathy I've gotten in years.
The income linked to the happiest marriages
I already have dual undergrads in Intl. Relations and Media arts--my field was supposed to pay 90k starting, but died when the economy collapsed. Working on my master's in comp. Any reason why women still judge men by how much money we make but if I want one with nice juggs I'm a chauvinistic asshole? Must be the kind of women you're after.
Don't really have any advice for you re: Just avoid those ones. Always going to be double standards. That's when the Manly Man goes to the library and learns himself some homesteading skillz. Grow food, raise some chickens, maybe rabbits, make awesome compost, build what the family needs shelving, beds, storage , maintain cast iron, sharpen knives. If I could be a stay at home mom, I'd have an urban farm as much as my city zoning would allow. People on both sides of opinion regarding this post need to avoid falling into the same trap as the post itself does: This study's sources are over ten years old and begin during the late eighties.
It's not entirely applicable to current opinions.
The High-Income Woman’s Guide to Dating a Man Who Makes Less
It also in no way states that men "stop feeling masculine, become less assertive, the woman develops subtle resentment towards him, and the sex becomes pathetic" or that men "give up their power. This isn't to say that having an "unconventional" relationship dynamic won't provide a certain set of challenges, but there aren't any immasculating effects that are sure to apply to all situations. As men we are brought up as the 'provider' I am not in either situation, but I can see how it would be very hard to live with, considering the societal norms.
For perspective, I personally would love to be a stay at home dad, but that will never happen as I am earning more than my partner. Only insecure men worry about 'power' dynamics in relationships. The one who's got the power in a relationship is the one who don't think about it as a power dynamics situation but as a relationships. As a stay at home dad the only power dynamic I don't enjoy is that my wife controls the cable remote when she is home and she has awful taste in television programs.
All reality TV, all the time. It's been awhile since I read those studies, but by recall is that they essentially just established a correlation in that when a man isn't the "bread winner" or stays at home, divorce rate is higher.
The Ugly Truth I've Realized From Dating Dudes Who Earn Less Than Me
I do not believe they actually definitively attached causal effects to it, but they did make some hypothesis.. Which is far far far far less then you are suggesting. I am somewhat thinking you're venturing into the lines of graceless generalizations if you don't have a study to affirm specifically what you're talking about. Additionally, I would say that would only be true in people who buy heavily into ascribed gender roles.
I think it is probably a function of poverty. Since poor people divorce more often than well off people, I'd assume if the women makes more, odds are they are a low-income household. Sure, if the guy is a macho idiot who can't stand a woman being more successful than him, and if the woman is selfish. But for anyone else I think it'll work just fine. He stops feeling masculine, becomes less assertive, the woman develops subtle resentment towards him, and the sex becomes pathetic. I have dated several men that made significantly less than me. Without fail they made a big issue out of it.
He would make snide comments about how he would rather date a waitress than a lawyer and would say things like he would never want to have kids with me because I wouldn't stay home hello? Who do you think will support us? We started dating really young and he just never had any ambition and drive. I was ok with that but he wouldn't support my career path at all And I paid for absolutely everything we did.
My last boyfriend also freaked out because I made more money than him. I had never even pondered it, I had no idea how much he made not did I care. He would get pissed if I paid for anything like a pizza or dinner took it as a personal attack on him. He ended up disappearing on our relationship about money woes he was having I had no idea. When he reappeared he came clean about the money issue.
By that point I had moved on but I really liked the guy! It was a bummer. My future hubby and I make approximately the same amount of money although we do very different jobs. I gotta say that it works well, there is no resentment, he is secure in his position and it's nice for both of us to carry equal weight. Yeah, the same thing comes up with me all the time with the guys I date.
I make good money, nothing crazy, but I dated one guy who very seriously suggested I "go part time. You mean it wasnt just handed to you with your PhD? Stay at home dad here, not all of us dudes are like that. My wife and I started dating in h. She graduated and got a great job then our daughter was born. I love every minute of being able to stay home and raise my kid instead of worrying about daycare. I see it as a reward of supporting us through school. Now I can relax and just keep home while she pursues the career she's always wanted. Personally I've never seen finances as 'mine' or 'hers,' we're partners in this crazy thing called life, money and all.
Not trying to brag or anything, just letting you know people like me exist and your ex-boyfriend just sounds like an insecure D. Yes as long as he was actually working and knew how to handle his own money. I make double what my ex did, and it was never a problem except that I found he spent a lot of money he didn't have on frivolous things and didn't have much concept of saving.