The facility to perhaps start a topic anonymously so that posters wouldn't be able to see what areas you are personally struggling with would be good. Wish they had videos as I would like to listen to them first. I feel there would be benefit to allowing users to present themselves as happy committed Christians which I would consider myself to be without necessarily appearing as candidates for full-time ministry which I'm not.
I am concerned that others may be too strict in their beliefs. The largest category of specific comment was about the need for potential partners to be local. I was on Fusion for three months and in that time one person wrote to me. I could go on! The first time it was not successful, but later I met someone who has become a very dear long-term friend, making my life much more interesting and enjoyable.
People often live quite a distance away from where I am. I don't have a car and having been in long distance relationships previously I don't really want to be another. It's not always practical to move house or job or travel. A lot of Christian Introduction Companies state that 'distance should not be an obstacle' - it definitely is. As a result of experience with online dating sites, many made generalisations about the other gender. There were disproportionately more generalised comments made about men by women than made by men about women.
General approbation included adjectives about men such as 'timid', 'needy', 'boring and a bit pathetic', 'poor calibre' and 'weird guys and losers'. Particularly for those women over 40, they noted that men were 'unrealistic' in wanting someone either ' years younger' or '20 years younger' with whom to have children. They also recognised that men may not find the medium totally comfortable in that they find it harder than women to present themselves in writing: About the women on the dating site: About the lack of response from women: Comments that thoughtfully reflected their own individual behaviour or attitudes were further analysed.
The majority of these noted the time and effort involved and how they had probably not invested enough or were not willing to do so. The second most frequent reflection by women was about the fear of dating, many signing up but hiding their profiles so that they could not be found. I don't have the courage to contact men via the Internet.
It has been quite expensive and time consuming. Perhaps there is something wrong with me but they won't tell me. There were more concerns about courtesy of making a response than complaints about sex, rudeness or other comments about behaviour. Some expected Christians to be more courteous in this regard than non-Christians. Comments about this came from both men and women. Some were concerned about ageism. All comments were from women and concerned those of age 45 and above.
They say men look for child-bearing women who are younger and so only older men of no interests in that approach them. A few commented in the same way about the events organised by dating agencies. Therefore you are left with the old men who want a younger women. Also there are more single men in the South and I live in the North west!!
Take Our Advice & Join a Dating Site!
Men of my own age all want someone much younger. In total, 2, respondents answered the question: Have you or would you use a Christian dating site to meet other Christians? Of these, provided additional comments and over half of these talked about their experiences of using dating sites. All the comments were analysed using a coding scheme suggested by the structure of the question. They covered the following.
What is the difference for people between a dating site that is Christian and one that is not?
Should a Christian use a dating service to find a spouse?
There were also suggestions for additional functionality. Comments discussed the idea that, for some, labelling themselves as 'Christian' might be a generic term as being part of a Christian country and, for others, some very well-defined such as 'Evangelical born-again'.
Views were expressed both ways, based on experience and expectation. This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. Would Christians use a Christian dating site? Of all the respondents who provided an opinion about their experience of using Christian dating sites: Experience of using a dating site Experience of using a dating site depends on what the intention was and whether it had been met.
About 1 in 8 were positive about their experiences. Successfully using dating sites Those that had used a site said that you need to invest time and effort into it and to have courage in being willing to communicate and meet people. Drivers and inhibitors of using a Christian dating site Beliefs on how God works in the world inhibit and facilitate use.
Should Christians Date Online?
General thoughts Facilitating factors Inhibiting factors General thoughts Some thought aloud about the way they thought God worked in the world and about whether it was OK to use a dating site or not from a Christian perspective. Although there were not many comments in this area, respondents focused on two areas: Fifteen said they preferred to meet Christians on non-Christian sites, because of: Using a dating site Like any tool or service, people find a variety of ways to use a dating service.
To make friends 'However to meet friends as I am stuck in the stereotype capsule of old values and believing it may not be the right thing to do. A quarter of these recognised that such a descriptor is one that is 'loose, flexible, broad'. Half were more negative in that they had experienced people as non-Christian: The remaining quarter found other members on the site more fervent in some sense than themselves: Lack of success 'With very little success I should add.
Women on men General approbation included adjectives about men such as 'timid', 'needy', 'boring and a bit pathetic', 'poor calibre' and 'weird guys and losers'. Others noted that they thought men didn't want women already with children. Men on women Men made far fewer generalised statements about women. They focused around three areas: Need for time and effort The greater proportion noted that they had made insufficient effort to be successful.
Age Some were concerned about ageism. Did they describe their experience neutrally, positively, negatively or with or without success?
Apprehension relative to beliefs about how God works in the world Stories of success of others As a last resort because there was no other option General caution about using dating sites in general, worried about others who do so, doubting the effectiveness of the process or preferring to meet first in person Cost of joining some services Access to and familiarity with computers Have you or would you use a CHRISTIAN dating site What is a dating site for?
What does Christian mean for those who describe themselves as such? Christian dating sites Relationships Finding a partner. We can take the perfect picture, phrase our sentences just right, and reveal only the most flattering information about ourselves.
So if you decide to give online dating a chance, you have to know yourself. Are you easily wowed and gullible? Do you really think everyone online is there with good intentions? If you know you have a history of picking guys who are handsome over honoring, rich over respectful, or charismatic over Christ-centered, then you need to be very careful online dating. If you are a guy who instantly maxes out the credit cards when a pretty girl gives you attention, again, you need to be extra cautious when mingling online. If you lack discretion, if you are not known for your discernment, or if you are easily wowed by surface information, then online dating might not be for you.
If nothing else, at least ask a friend to keep you accountable as you search for a godly spouse online. Online dating is a pretty bold move. You are making a serious step forward in being very active and not passive in your hopes to find a spouse. The danger here is that once you start pressing forward, you might press forward too hard and compromise since you want to find a Christian spouse so bad.
This is where Christian accountability will really benefit you.
But make sure you include other Christians in this process who you respect. Bounce ideas off of them. Let them do some searching too on your behalf. Also, this is just a good safety tip. If the person you are dating is solid, he or she will respect your concern for safety and appreciate the effort you are putting in to find a solid spouse.
At minimum, tell other people who you are going to meet and where you are meeting them. Dating is an emotional rollercoaster. I know that is impossible to do perfectly.
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And quite frankly, this is a serious thing. Trying to find the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with is no small matter. With all that said, you are going to wear yourself out if you take each date too seriously. Just go on a date and enjoy it for what it is. Will you probably jump way ahead in your mind, imagining if this person will make a good dad to your 3 children named Heather, Austin, and Frank? But then come back to reality and live with realistic expectations. You are probably not going to meet your future husband or wife on the first date or two you go on when you begin online dating.
Try to enjoy each date for what it is. I believe the intention behind dating should be to find a spouse. Having said that, there are still beneficial parts to dating even if that specific relationship does not result in marriage. But also know you are probably not going to marry the first, second, or third person you date. Dating people enhances your character. It increases your discernment. It refines what qualities you really care about in another person. Dating people will force you to realize things about yourself you would otherwise never have learned.
It can prepare you to become the person you need to be to thrive when you finally do meet your future spouse. If done right, the dating process including online dating should enhance your ability to walk with God and follow his leading. Learn what God wants you to learn through each date.