Ted talk gaming online dating

Save the humor until you can wow them in person. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. Just because you like Louis C. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile. Perhaps you are an avid NRA member, are passionately Pro-Choice, or a strong advocate for medical marijuana—you may want to leave out things that someone could potentially interpret that information in a way that disadvantages you.

Odds are you may turn off more people than you attract. Save your accomplishments for later. These are the types of details to work into a conversation on your first or second date. If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your resume? The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. So ask thoughtful questions.

Amy Webb: How I hacked online dating | TED Talk

Take a keen interest in the conversation. Use the 20 hour rule. Otherwise, wait 20 to 23 hours between e-mail contacts for the first few messages. Webb found that successful daters waited that amount of time and as a result still seemed eager without coming off as desperate. Shoot for business hours or evenings. Your email address will not be published.

Whether single, dating or committed, find a deeper connection through yoga: Designed by see8ch Powered by WordPress. Home About Why YogaDates? I love people who are active problem solvers. I could not help but be impr This is a true story where the author chronicles her efforts to not just sit back and let love find her -- but instead, she actively works the online-dating system to find her PERFECT match. I could not help but be impressed by her go-gettum style. And she IS successful in the end which she states at the beginning, so this is not a spoiler!

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However she IS a little nuts. The way she breaks down her life in min charted increments I'm just saying that I can imagine some people would find her too extreme to actually enjoy reading about her. To me though, she was mostly just extremely quirky The parts that challenged me and my enjoyment of her process were: That being said -- I finished the book and enjoyed it -- and would recommend it However if you're a person who would be put-off by the thought of a woman working extremely hard to find a husband -- then you will absolutely hate this book.

Feb 11, Amanda rated it really liked it. A bad break-up and several horrific first and last! Our intrepid heroine goes in for pie charts instead, and does for us what we have been heretofore unwilling to do for ourselves - she breaks down the system of dating into small, bite-sized and manageable pieces. Herein, W A bad break-up and several horrific first and last! Herein, Webb bravely documents her first hesitant but hopeful attempts at dating after the end of a relationship, all of which range from wince-worthy to beat-about-the-head-and-shoulders-with-a-blunt-implement-worthy.

After a last-straw dating disaster, Webb opens a bottle of wine and spends a maniacal weekend breaking down the data on jdate. After what she calls her "Mary Poppins List", a 72 point list of qualities in a mate some essential, some just desirable , she realizes who she is looking for. She also decides to spend several weeks logging as "man seeking woman", so she can check out the profiles that rank as her competition.

What she learns about her potential dating pool and about how to market herself therein is the crux of Webb's story, and what ultimately lead her - no spoilers here, since Webb reveals this outcome in her own title - to the perfect match for her.

As a math-o-phobe of long standing, but one who spent much of the late 90s and early s on dating websites, I found the minutiae of breaking down date trending quite interesting. Even more interesting is how Webb uses her information to assess herself as she appears in her online profile and particularly how her newly discovered data rates her past relationships. After crafting this detailed list, Webb realizes that when she compares it against her past relationships - including the shipwreck that begins the book - none of her past loves had more than four of her required traits.

Setting aside the trending and the rating system and how Webb would ultimately recreate herself on the site in her "super profile", Webb learns that much of her problems have resulted not from being too picky, but by not being picky enough. Even for those of us who may never return to the world of online dating, the book offers two extraordinarily useful bits of information. The first, of course, is the Mary Poppins list.

If you don't know what you're looking for, you can't possibly know how to find it. The second is Webb's discovery of what makes the "popular" girls popular surprise, it's not just being a size zero and how to accomplish it in her own Amy-like way. Webb's first person narrative makes no effort to articially polish anything. From the details of the unraveling affair that opens the book, to her mother's ultimately futile battle with a rare form of cancer, she is direct and unsentimental, but still allows a warmth and vulnerability to come through.

Her "loud, Jewish family" plays a large secondary role in this book, including her sister Hilary, who operates as sounding board, fashion consultant, best friend, ninja defender and thread of reason, and her parents, who are loving, but anxious to see Webb settled and happy. I listened to the audiobook, which has its pros and cons. On the upside, Webb reads the book herself. She's funny, she's self-effacing, she's unapologetically awkward and geeky and has no trouble detailing her many quirks and singularities. One hilarious chapter illustrates her absolutely religious worship of color coding and spreadsheets when she documents her preparation to meet a therapist for the first time, and presents a three-holed binder with charts, graphs, a spreadsheet, all detailing her current emotional and psychological state.

As anyone who has ever been in therapy can imagine, the therapist seems to consider this as more of a symptom than a study aid, which baffles Webb.

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The other positive side of the audio book is that Webb's ultimate perfect match, her now-husband Brian Wolf, weighs in with his reaction to Amy, to her system, to her Mary Poppins list which he calls "creepy, but not for the reasons you'd expect. Given how invested we are in Webb's welfare by the end of the book, we're happy to leave her in his hands. The downside of the audiobook is that we miss the print edition artwork - photos and graphs I'm guessing they are in abundance, given who we're dealing with here. I am seriously considering investing in the Kindle edition, once I have some discretionary capital at my disposal.

Absent the artwork at the moment, I console myself with the "movie trailer for my book" as Webb calls it, which one can find at YouTube by searching the title of the book. A very enlightening, funny book with a sad beginning, a hair-raising middle and a very happy ending. Apr 25, Amanda rated it it was ok. Frustrated by horrendous dates with men she met online, Webb decides to approach dating websites with a new strategy.

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  4. She draws up an exhaustive list of exactly what she's looking for, ranks the qualities with numerical values, creates "tiers" think "most important," "desirable," and "would be nice" and commits to not meeting anyone who doesn't score at least out of But what's really brazen is how she creates several male profiles and masquerades as "Frank" and "Ben" in order to see Frustrated by horrendous dates with men she met online, Webb decides to approach dating websites with a new strategy.

    But what's really brazen is how she creates several male profiles and masquerades as "Frank" and "Ben" in order to see what kind of women she's up against in the online dating pool. While the concept is intriguing, the book soon became tiresome. Webb went on and on about her own career achievements and the minutae of what she was wearing and the take-out food she was eating while building her online fake profiles. The other annoying thing about the book is how mean-spirited Webb seems to be. At one point she describes a meeting in which her supervisor pronounces the state "Illinois" with an audible "s" on the end.

    Yeah, it's a stupid mistake, but she takes such glee in staring him down and trying to make him feel like an idiot, that instead of wanting to chuckle at the guy, I wanted to slap her. May 07, Joanna rated it it was ok Shelves: I wanted to like this book. I wanted to like the author. Sadly, nope and nope. The author comes across as neurotic, whiny, a tad unethical, and surprisingly vicious. The book has a good project, but it never hit the mark as either advice or an interesting memoir.

    The author showed almost none of her softer emotions.

    Online love & infidelity. We're in the game, what are the rules? - Michelle Drouin - TEDxNaperville

    She tells us that her mother had terminal cancer and that she felt sad. But there's no vulnerability, no opening of her heart to the reader -- just factual telling. She recounts her I wanted to like this book. She recounts her bad dates in funny, but detached, language. Her method of "gaming" online dating is both overly complicated and overly obvious.

    She engages a complicated research project that involves creating ten fake male profiles to interact with women to inspect the "competition.

    How to hack the online dating game: 10 tips from the woman who cracked the code

    While she creates rules for the interactions to try to prevent unethical line-crossing e. Not the crime of the century, but wrong nonetheless. And she analyzes word choice and interactions to come to the completely unsurprising realization that her profile should have good pictures and be relatively upbeat and approachable. She also comes up with a 72 point list of requirements for a partner and a scoring system. In an author that I'd come to root for and like, I might have found this list endearing if silly, but since I found the author rather off-putting, I found the list seriously ridiculous and neurotic instead.

    Finally, the book suffers from the smug, happy-ending that seems to be part of the format for these quarter-life-crisis books, but that's really pretty annoying. Right from the start, she tells you that things worked out and she met her happily-ever-after husband. And I suppose she wouldn't have much credibility writing about how to game the system if it hadn't worked. But it still feels awfully smug: My life was incomplete until I finally met the right man. Take my advice and you can too Mar 04, Helen rated it it was ok Shelves: Can you spell "false advertising"? I kinda felt gamed after reading this - sure she tweaked her profile but I think her magical match was more of a happy coincidence than anything else.

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    It wasn't really rocket science, even if you can go all geeky with mathematical formulas. The point of this book only really clicked when I read she founded a digital strategy consultancy. Jun 22, Roz Warren rated it liked it.

    Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match

    Wrongs that eHarmony and JDate kept matching her with. So she sat down, drink in hand, and listed every single quality she wanted her future husband to have. She also wanted to avoid certain annoying habits, which led to criteria like: But how to find him? First Webb decided to check out the competition. She went online, disguised as her dream date.

    This meant upgrading her photo. The old one showed her in a suit, giving a lecture at a prestigious conference. Many seemed like winners.