Yesterday I read an article by a generational expert. When asked to describe Gen Z in one word, he said "realistic". As in the opposite of idealistic.
One illustration of the magnitude of this difference is jobs. My main criteria for finding a job were passion and contributing to society. My friends accept the "common wisdom" that it isn't smart to stay in a job for more than two-three, and if you don't love it, you should leave it. This is Gen Y typical. Fascinatingly, Gen Z aren't about the passion when looking for a job — they want stability and money. This is crazily different from Gen Y. Most of the analysis on Gen Z explains their characteristics as being borne out of the unique time they've existed in.
Just like that, my generation is out of date
Gen Z saw their loved ones losing jobs and money in the GFC. They've seen older siblings unable to find jobs when they graduate, and unable to afford houses.
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I like meeting people in person, but not just in person, over time. I like repeated exposure. I think you have to spend more time with me.
I pity my generation. We learned about life in one way, and then had to go and live it in another.
You need to see how I am, see how I interact with people other than you. First dates, if they result from online dating, are not dates. There is no romance there, there are no butterflies. To want to make the effort to see each other again. No, we have to meet, spend a brief time conversing, and in that time develop enough interest on both sides of the table the one of us is going to make effort to ask the other out again, and that person is going to say yes.
Neither will put forth any effort toward a second meeting. What we ignore is that wow is an accumulation of moments over time. The internet has made everything instant, even our assumptions of how quickly we should be attracted to people. Online dating is a giant pool of people, there are literally millions of individuals involved. What does matching even mean?
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He looked good in his groomsman suit and I wore a very low cut dress in two of my pictures. Good luck you two, off you go. And yes, we all know someone, or several someones, who met their spouses via online dating. Mazel tov to them and their families. But assuming that is the rule, rather than the exception, is ignorant.
Yes, every now and then a couple will meet, fall in love, and marry as a result of online dating. Millions of online daters and you know two couples. Two couples who got married that way. What about the millions of the rest of us? If a man is interested in me, he will make it clear, and if I am interested back, there will be a wonderful connection, a new person in my life.
Because love knows no artificial, age-based, media-enforced barriers.
But these people are rare, few and light years between and I have to be patient. Not for my generation. Not the generation that learned how to date in one way, and actually had to date in another. Yet there was no problem at all tossing Generation Y into the deep end of app dating without swimming lessons. I thought dating was just that, dating. I looked to the future and and journeyed in that general direction and then arrived someplace completely different. A Willy Wonka rowboat ride.
Gen X and Millennials Are Dipping Into Each Other's Dating Pools
And a year-old learning these things and making her mistakes has a lot more time to make mistakes than someone who is Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. But we were not single in the 90s. I pity my generation. Additionally by asking about commitment, I hoped to find out what type of relationship they are interested in, to better understand what functions they would like their ideal dating platform to have.
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Following that was the section on marriage and divorce, where I asked respondents about their ideal age to get married as well what they saw as the script for an ideal marriage in order to assess whether or not Generation Y is even interested in getting married. I further examined divorces among friends and family and how that has influenced their opinions on the union. The last section on online dating asked questions about characteristics they would like their ideal dating website to have as well as assessed their views on online dating in general in order to find out if they are interested in using online dating in the future and what factors would contribute to their decision to subscribe.