I thought I had met my Prince Charming!
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He pursued me intently, expensive dinners at restaurants, 3 weekends in a row at his house in the Hamptons, expensive gifts. After about a month I started to really fall for him emotionally. We had so many things in common. A love of art, music, travelling to exotic places in the world, languages.. I thought it was a dream come true.. I guess I tried my hardest. He went away on a business trip and when he came back the tables had turned. It was now no longer him chasing me, it was me trying to get him to spend more time with me.
He worked long hours and his schedule was unpredictable. I began to feel that I never knew when I was going to see him next. I felt that I had 0 control in the relationship. We always met on his terms, often a weekday late in the evening. I was so flexible and accomodating to his work schedule. From then on there were so many other clues that something was wrong. He preferred to communicate by text message or email, rarely answered the phone, He was always in control of when we would meet, usually at his place on a weekday.
I remember one time I went to his house and and when I kissed him when he opened the door, some make up got on his shirt. The next day I try calling, no response. I felt this man was not being honest with me. I was distraught, my self esteem has plummeted to the lowest of low, I feel lost and confused. But I feel like he has just raped me emotionally. It depends on the level of trust to me. Figuring out what a guy is thinking or planning from her description is about as inaccurate as.. You need to confront him. You are thinking that you are in an exclusive relationship, that you have begun to build the last relationship of your life.
Some apparently mature people consider dating a recreation in their life, rather than a search for a life-mate.
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I had a similar situation occur with a man I began dating last fall. When I confronted him about it , he lied and lied and lied again. That was the beginning of one long year of hell, lies, cheating and abuse for me. I stayed with somone who continued to write to other women on line, even after he and I became exclusive. I caught him only because he was using my home computer to do it???
Why did I stay? Because I believed more of his crap and allowed him to push my boundaries to a point where it became absurd. I have been away from him for months and have found out about more cheating and lies that occured during our time together. If a man lies to you, its a red flag for sure. I say there is nothing wrong with checking to see how active someone you are dating is on the dating website. It may mean nothing. It may mean something. His response said a whole lot more! I think NML is totally on point! I am surprised you let this go on without saying anything for so long.
Always trust your insincts. The nerve this foolio had to be trying to pick up other women from YOUR computer. Throwing my hands in the air I am not the one. I think some a z z kicking might have been in order I miss the days when guys had to meet your father, brothers and cousins before taking you out on a date. Then they knew the faces attached to the a z z kicking they would get if they started acting foolish. I am sorry for your troubles.
Anytime a man is too good, too soon, it sounds shady to me. Often they are trying to compensate for something incrediby jacked up. I know one too many women who have found themselves in abusive relationships from guys who were just a little bit too charming. A man should always know that you WILL leave him if he starts acting a fool. He should be pursuing YOU. If you find that you are calling him all the time and constantly trying to chase him down.
If you really like yourself, you need to move on and leave him alone. If he wants to be with you, he will chase you down but you would need to let him know that he is going to have to put in some WORK to get back in your good graces. Houses in the Hamptons are nice but happiness is better any day. This was a similar situation that happened to me.
When Your Boyfriend is Still on a Dating Site – What to do?
There are so many arguments about Dating Profiles still being active that if I was to date and become serious with a man who after we agreed to be exclusive was still active — no questions just dump his buttox. This guy in the paragraph above was totally turning the tables around on her while he was being the Jackarse.
I was seeing an EUM and recently i stayed over at his house for a few days. I discovered that he was actively on a dating site while i was at his place. When i questioned him he said that he had not been on the site for months. No personal emails, no explanations for being on the site, nothing.
The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do? | Life and style | The Guardian
Why do we otherwise intelligent women ignore these blatantly obvious signs of trouble? Now he has even stopped the general emails for the last 3 or 4 days. Maybe i will not hear from him again NML!
- The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do??
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Good interesting site NML. I just went through the same thing.
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The same story from the other side of the Atlantic , we had been dating for 9 months , and though we had not said explicitely is it necessary? I had seen over 2 months ago that his profile was still active , and decided to be cool about it and not say anything. Lately we have been having more arguments because I am trying to get things on my terms and I found out that not only is his profile still on line but that he logs on every week. I hated to do so but I flashed him from a bogus profile, only a flash from an uncomplete photoless profile , and he sent me an e-mail with all his details.
I got on fire and the following day two days ago I dumped him , he said that he had unsuscribed from the site but that there have been an error with the subscription and they were charging him money without his authorization. When I asked him why he was still logging , he denied it , and when I asked him for the mail he had written to the bogus profile , he said it was automatic.