Dating an introvert gay

Darren from Dating Price Guide talks through some tips for introverted men to make dating enjoyable. Being an introvert can make life a little bit harder and dating tends to be one of the most difficult things to cope with for shy guys.

How to Make Friends as a Shy, Gay Man | HuffPost

Want to woo the woman of your dreams but are seriously shy and socially awkward? Do they keep looking over? Have they smiled at you? The future is now, the times they have a-changed, and humankind has been cleaved into two disparate groups: However, rather than waging a spectacular Mad Max-style war on one another, in the modern age, the exuberant and the introspective live in, for the most part, harmony. As such, there are many relationships where an extroverted sort may find themselves shacked up with their inverse. Through their innate empathy, understanding and compassion, introverts often make the most wonderful partners.

Things to Know About Dating an Introvert: An Easily Digestible List Ditch your preconceptions In many conversations across the screaming food-fight that is social media in , introversion has negative connotations — that introverts are awkward, dislike social contact, and love nothing more than a long weekend barricaded inside their homes. Make plans You may think it is a romantic gesture to burst in through the front door brandishing two plane tickets to Paris with a departure date of three hours time, however to your introverted partner this will be likely be extremely uncomfortable.

Bask in adoration Prepare to be loved — properly loved. And now for the key question: This all sounds amazing. Sure, close friends would help me be more open, but I'm having a disastrously hard time making them in the first place.


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I just like being alone or ideally in small groups. I like having one-on-one conversations with people that are not about the weather but about menaing, life, feelings. For these and a lot of other reasons I think I am at the far end of the introvesion-extroversion spectrum. I don't get the appeal of going places, doing things, as lame as it may sound, but I'd do anything if that meant spending time with someone I care about. I don't drink alchool and don't like loud music, so I would never go to a club, for example.

That's just not a place for me. Everything would be a lot easier if I had someone who could support me ever so slightly through this, but So, to make close friends takes a bit of emotional risk This is very common among LGBT people because we expend real energy walling off parts of our lives and learning to keep personal things to ourselves.

But, we all start knowing someone on a bit of a surface level.


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How do we take it to the next level? Well, you have to open up about something It takes an emotional calculation But, when it pays off, a friendship strengthens and the bonds become much tighter. And it only really takes one or two people of this nature in your life to give you the emotional security you need. Anyone in your life right now in terms of surface friends that you'd want to get to know more? That you'd feel comfortable opening up to? Who you feel has the emotional intelligence to handle that? So, I'm hearing a lot of "I can't" and "I don't like". These may reflect things right now, but those phrases can be dangerous because they can box you in.

How introverted men can make dating easier

We need to keep growing throughout our lives, and if we limit that growth we will not improve. This is what I mean about throwing out all the assumptions you've made for yourself. I'm not suggesting you need to like anything in particular, but over time you'll need to gradually open your mind a little more and challenge your current beliefs.

A friend can help with challenging your beliefs about yourself immensely, because often we do not even see those assumptions. You may not get the appeal of going places, etc. You may not have experienced the level of joy being with certain people in those places.

I do need my alone time, but there's an energy that comes from a satisfying social interaction, be that in my apartment or in a bar or wherever. We need those interactions--we are social creatures. I like being alone or in small groups too But, when one is more flexible, we cast a wider net for opportunity. And, you need opportunity right now because you're looking to meet like-minded people. So, you want to be more open generally I always figured if I met one person that evolved into a deep friendship per year, I was doing really well In reality, the frequency is less than that.

But, if you don't seek opportunities to find and mingle with these people, then the chances of meeting someone like this reduce to zero. So, you have to find a way to meet people If you expand your activities and reduce your self-imposed restrictions, you'll create more opportunities for yourself.

I feel so old to be going through this. Doesn't it feel like something a straight person would go through in his teens? This also contributes to making me self-concious about the state I'm in.

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Knowing that someone else has experienced this and managed to get a hold on their life is comforting, since sometimes it feels like I'm the only one living it. This is not complaining Talking leads to understanding. Understanding leads ultimately to resolution. Never stop talking about these things that bother you in life I mean, there's a right time and place, but just be sure you have those times and places in your life.

Yes, this is also extremely common for gay people But, it's totally normal for us to delay the normal stages of life and adjustment because we're busy trying to understand the fundamentals of who we are, and how to communicate that to the rest of the world. So, we put off a lot of these things exploring sex, dating, relationships, adjustments to life in general to deal with the more important issue at hand, trying to figure ourselves out. Straight people obviously don't have to spend time thinking about this.

In my generation, people typically came out in their mid-late 20s, or later. Dated in their 20s and 30s, settled into a more serious relationship in their mid-upper 30s and 40s. All that's changed now You are definitely not alone in these struggles I can talk more in detail about my trials and such around coming out of my shell over pm if you like. It was not easy, there was a year or two transition where I really pushed myself outside my comfort zone after taking stock of my life, and I came out the other side in a completely different place. So, this is not insurmountable Just start taking baby steps and over time they will add up to real progress.

Hey man, I can relate. Other than I'd have to change your last statement from "10 years" to "20 years". I felt exactly the same way.

Welcome to Reddit,

About 6 months ago, I had an unrelated incident that caused me to have some extreme, unable to sleep anxiety, my GP started me on Zoloft. It took about months, but for the last months, it is the best I have felt in 20 years. I know it doesn't work for everyone, and maybe you've already looked into a pharmaceutical solution, but it really was a game changer for me.

Everything that seemed so I've never considered drugs, honestly.

Things to Know About Dating an Introvert: An Easily Digestible List

It wouldn't be fair to myself if I prioritized them over trying my hardest which, in spite of trying a bit, I'm not.