Ex nuns dating

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As well as studying the meaning of chastity, poverty and obedience, Deborah, dressed in a novice's uniform of long blue skirt and blue jumper, was expected to help the nuns with the cleaning and gardening. Then there was the hour of private prayer before evening prayers. I missed them, but I felt I was doing the right thing for me. But living in this stunning setting, surrounded by olive trees, Deborah, who was the youngest of nuns, says she was not unhappy.

After three years, Deborah was ready to take her vows as a fully-professed nun. This meant writing to the Mother Superior and undergoing psychometric tests to ensure she was emotionally and psychologically ready for such a huge step. Her parents flew out to witness the momentous occasion. Afterwards, Deborah undertook two stints at convents in London and Glasgow before returning to Rome. She was approached by a Radio 2 producer who asked her to write for Pause For Thought. Even the then Pope, John Paul II, spotted Deborah, the sparkly-eyed young nun playing guitar at his public and private masses.

One day he fixed her with a serious stare and began to wag his finger. But sporadically exposed to the outside world, Deborah did begin to change. And the changes made her start to question what she was doing with her life. Although she insists she never struggled with her chastity vow, if she remained in the convent, she knew she would never marry or have children. One year, Dad gave me a portable CD player. But, as I was preparing to take a vow of poverty, I couldn't accept this simple gift. Deborah tussled with her growing doubts for many months - increasingly uneasy that her way of life meant she couldn't relate to the lives of ordinary people.

I came to the conclusion that I didn't need a habit or vows in order to be true to myself or helpful and kind to other people. After months of agonising, Deborah wrote to her Mother Superior explaining her intention to leave the order. A few months later I felt brave enough to leave.

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I'd lived out of the real world for six years, and I had no idea what life would be like again. I had absolutely no plans, I just knew it was the right decision. In December , Deborah flew to London, to a life that suddenly felt anything but ordinary. After landing, she took at train to Warwickshire to be met by her parents.

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Deborah and Stewart Hollamby on their wedding day. The plan was to stay with them initially and take a part-time job in a department store. But 'rehabilitation' wasn't an easy process. Deborah found making friends difficult.

A Nun's Story: From Convent Bondage (Sexual Desire, Dating Priests, Rituals, No Bible) to Jesus

As I attempted to make friends, I tried to keep my past a secret; I didn't want to be judged. My boss at the department store was so fascinated she used to say to customers: But normal everyday things posed problems, too. Simple pleasures like enjoying a cup of coffee and a slice of cake with her mother felt like ordeals. Nothing was wasted,' recalls Deborah. I got terribly stressed about leaving it. It ended with Mum saying: It's not the end of the world.

While she was getting used to living in the outside world again, Deborah felt that dating could take a back seat. Meanwhile, Deborah used her communication skills to secure a job as a fundraiser for the Marie Curie cancer charity, before being headhunted by Birmingham Children's Hospital to run their fundraising and communications department.

But, while on the surface Deborah appeared a conventional career woman, underneath she was anything but. After years of poverty, learning to earn money and spend it without feeling guilty was a huge struggle. It wasn't until , six years after she'd left the convent, that Deborah met her husband Stuart, a retailer, through work.

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The pair had known each other professionally for a short time when one day he called and asked if she'd like to go out for dinner. In Stuart, I just saw a kind, straight-talking, compassionate man who was a lot of fun. The first problem posed by her impending date was her lack of shoes: On one date, Deborah recalls that they went to the cinema. Forgetting herself, she dropped down on one knee and made the sign of the cross before she took her seat - as she would've done before taking a pew in church.

I had no choice but to explain that I'd been a nun. I was convinced it would be our last date but he was intrigued, not repelled. Two years later, they decided to get marriage. They knew they could not marry in a Catholic church due to Stuart's previous marriage. Instead, they tied the knot in an Anglican union. I was just happy to be marrying the man I loved.

And that was just the start of a happy family life. Their children followed, creating the bustling family home she runs today in tandem with her career. Deborah's life today is one which she once thought she had turned her back on for ever. The reversal of the decision she took as an year-old is something she never takes lightly. For her parents, of course, it has meant the joy of grandchildren.

I'm a kinder, more tolerant person than I would otherwise have been. Renata, her former roommate, also decided to leave the order after ten years and is now, like Deborah, married - Deborah even leant Renata her wedding dress for the occasion. It does makes me feel nostalgic, but I'm glad I realised that I didn't need to live in a convent to help others. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

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