Dating a man with herpes

Also, I have never infected a partner.

If I feel a tingle or something feels off, I don't risk it, I take a pill and no sex! I wouldn't write him off. It's more common than you think and just because he has it doesn't mean you'll get it. I think it's important to go into it knowing you might get it, and knowing how that will affect you.

One thing to take into consideration is that if you plan on having another child, a vaginal birth is unlikely because it may pass to your offspring. I dated a guy for a year who had it. He told me before we did anything and I took a month to think about it. I'm glad I took the time to think about it and I'm glad I did it.

I was definitely scared from time to time that I was going to get it, but most of the things people worry about never even happen anyway. I've had a blood test and a papsmear since and I didn't catch it! I was just lucky I guess we weren't overly careful, shame on us. It definitely was nerve-racking getting tested when I met my now SO. But, again, I got lucky. We avoided doing anything when he was shedding having an outbreak , which probably helped. Not a deal breaker. You can live a very normal life with it and have very minimal outbreaks. Talk to you OB and they will tell you it's really not a big deal.

If you ever decide to have a child with this person if you want more kids someday you can have a very normal pregnancy and vaginal delivery as well without harming your child.

The perfect man just told me he has herpes

Like everyone else said, just educate yourself. He's a standup guy for being honest. If he is taking meds he may very well never have an outbreak. Just to let you know, if you do happen to get herpes and then get pregnant at some point , you can have a vaginal birth. You would start suppressive therapy taking medicine once a day at 36 weeks and if by chance you get an active outbreak near labor, then they would do a c section. If no outbreak, you would have a vaginal birth. I just wanted you to know because I read someone saying you can't have a vaginal birth.


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Just trying to help! I was told there would be a risk. Didn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers. In some areas, there are local genital herpes support groups that can be a valuable source of information and support. The following section gives you in-depth information about the use of oral antivirals to treat herpes. Aciclovir has been used for this indication for a number of years now and found to be highly effective in controlling herpes recurrences. Some people with genital herpes have identified factors which may influence frequency or severity of recurrences.

Factors such as stress, diet and lifestyle may be worth considering when looking at ways of managing herpes in your life. Each case is individual and what works for one may not work for another. Frequent or severe recurrences of genital herpes infection may interfere with normal work and social activities, and cause disruption to your sex life.

However, there are steps which you can take to reduce outbreaks and help bring the herpes virus under control. This section explains what you can do and answers some other questions which you may have about living with genital herpes. Once you have acquired the herpes simplex virus HSV-2 it remains permanently resident in your body, living in a structure called the dorsal root ganglion, which is part of the nervous tissue located near to the base of the spinal column.

It spreads down the nerve to break out on the skin from time to time. Most of the time it is inactive, but every so often something happens to reactivate it, which causes the symptoms you recognise. Sometimes the herpes virus can reactivate and be shed without recognisable herpes symptoms asymptomatic shedding. It is not known exactly why the herpes virus becomes active again. Some people recognise certain trigger factors which contribute to an outbreak.

These may include friction due to sexual intercourse, ill health, stress, fatigue, depression, loss of sleep, direct sunlight and menstruation. Many people find that as the years go by the number and severity of their herpes recurrences naturally diminish. Education and counselling will often help an individual cope with recurrences. People who make contact with a support group for people with genital herpes often describe this as being a turning point in their coping with genital herpes in their life.

What it’s really like to date with herpes

Suppressive therapy involves taking an oral antiviral drug every day for prolonged periods. When recurrences do occur, they are usually less severe and shorter lasting. If you find the frequency of your outbreaks unacceptable, or if you are finding it difficult to cope emotionally with having recurrences of genital herpes, tell your doctor and discuss the use of suppressive therapy. For example, a very large study found that people who had an average of over 12 herpes occurrences a year, could reduce the frequency of their herpes outbreaks to less than two a year after one year of continuous suppressive therapy.

The study also showed that if recurrences do occur during suppressive therapy, they are usually less severe and shorter lasting. Your doctor may agree that suppressive antiviral therapy is suitable for you if one of the following applies to you: There are two oral antivirals available for suppressive treatment in New Zealand: Many people who use suppressive therapy say that they get so used to taking the tablets or capsules they are happy to continue with the treatment.

If you choose suppressive therapy, you do not have to stay on it permanently. If you prefer, you can take it until you feel in control of the herpes infection, but this is usually a period of months initially. Your doctor may suggest you stop the suppressive therapy for several months after you have taken suppressive therapy for some time, in order to assess how active your genital herpes remains.

If you are still having problems with herpes recurrences, you and your doctor may then decide that you should start suppressive therapy again. Aciclovir has been reported to cause no serious side-effects, even after years of use. A few people taking suppressive therapy do experience minor side-effects such as headache, nausea and diarrhoea.

If you have a problem, discuss this with your doctor. Research to date shows that people with normal immune systems who are on oral antivirals for a long period do not develop virus resistance or clinical breakthrough. Also, there is little interaction with other drugs, e.

Suppressive herpes therapy may give marked improvement to your emotional well-being. Many people find the fact that they can control the infection gives a boost to their sense of well-being and self-confidence. Even if only taken for a few months, suppressive therapy can help you to come to terms with emotions caused by recurrent genital herpes, including depression and anxiety.

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However, suppressive therapy is only part of it. There are benefits gained from expert counselling from your doctor or nurse, or by speaking to a counsellor on the tollfree Herpes Helpline 11 12 Make sure that you continue to talk to a health professional you are comfortable with, at least until you feel completely at ease with having genital herpes and in command of the infection. The antiviral drug Aciclovir was the first therapy which had been shown conclusively to be effective in treating genital herpes.

New antiviral drugs have become available which work in a similar way to Aciclovir, are more effective and require less frequent dosing to treat or suppress the recurrence.


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  7. These are not available in New Zealand. However, these are still in the developmental research stage and will not be available commercially for some years. Many people find that having a healthy diet, eating regularly and getting enough sleep are helpful in preventing recurrences. Having genital herpes does not affect your ability to have a baby. Overall, the incidence of neonatal herpes babies up to 28 days old infected by herpes is very rare. However, when it does occur it is potentially very harmful to the baby. It is therefore important to tell your doctor or midwife if you or your partner have had a history of genital herpes.

    They will then be able to provide information, reassurance and optimal management. Recurrent episodes of genital herpes during pregnancy are not harmful to the foetus. If you have genital herpes at the time when your baby is due, there is a small risk that the baby could become infected at delivery as it passes down the birth canal.

    This risk is most substantial for mothers who are having their first ever episode of genital herpes near to or during delivery.

    Would you date a guy with herpes? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect

    As with any drug therapies, oral antiviral tablets are not routinely recommended for use during pregnancy. Aciclovir has been used for treating genital herpes for over 15 years and as with any drug, a register has been kept to report any adverse side effects for women who have taken it during pregnancy. To date there have been no adverse side effects reported for either the baby or the mother. Due to the potential seriousness of a primary episode of genital herpes for the baby and the relative safety of Aciclovir, it is now recommended that Aciclovir is used for treating a first episode of genital herpes or severe recurrent herpes in the last trimester of pregnancy.

    It is believed that the benefit of using Aciclovir, by reducing the risk of transmission of herpes to the baby, outweighs the risk of not using it.

    Potential Partners: What You Need To Know When Considering Dating a Herpes Positive

    Episodic treatment is taking a short course of Aciclovir at the onset of a recurrence. Those who have less frequent recurrences may find episodic herpes treatment useful. If taken soon enough, it may stop ulcers developing known as aborting the lesion. It helps to have aciclovir available beforehand. If you want to use episodic treatment, ask your doctor to prescribe a supply for you.

    This approach will not have any effect on asymptomatic viral shedding and hence its effect on reducing herpes transmission is unclear and not likely to be very significant. This approach is useful, however, for persons who have infrequent attacks or for when persons are stopping continuous suppressive therapy. General practitioners are able to prescribe oral antivirals for suppressing herpes.

    Prescriptions can be filled at retail pharmacies. Alternatively you can download our guide as one pdf. Myths vs Fact in pdf form. Click here if you would like to get a copy of the information booklet "The Facts: Click here if you would like to get a print copy of the information booklet "The Facts: Herpes and Relationships Discussing Genital Herpes with your Partner Many people do not feel comfortable talking about sexuality and sexual health issues.